BPO - Cerebral Insights

Call Center Agents: New Target for AIDS/HIV?

In the past, HIV/AIDS has been confined to sex workers, drug addicts and gays. That is no longer true today. Recent hospital reports show that the surge in HIV/AIDS cases in the past 10 months included reports from young professionals, notably call center agents.

It is no secret that in the past years, call center (or BPO) centers have mushroomed in the country, not only in the Metro but also in far-flung provinces. With the recession the US is facing, multinational companies began outsourcing their customer services to Third World Countries where the cost of labor is cheaper. Our government, in its desire to provide more jobs for the unemployed, jumped at the opportunity despite the many health risks posed by this new industry.

If before the health risks associated with the call center industry were merely hypotension (low blood pressure), anemia, unorthodox sleep schedules, ruined bioclocks, lung cancer (if you keep smoking too much) and cirrhosis (if you keep drinking too much), now another risk has been associated to the industry – HIV/AIDS. Well, of course, if you engage in unprotected sex.

But the acceptance of casual sex within the industry is something that is quite alarming. It has been reported that FUBU (or F*cking Buddies) have become a common trend and people engage in unromantic, casual sex especially when in the night shift. Just how casual sex is related to the work involved, I cannot fathom. Could it be that the toxicity or the stress of the work involved had led call center agents to detoxify or de-stress themselves through sex – casual, uncommitted sex? Or could it be the lack of sufficient sex education – on what is sex all about, that has led them to view sex as something as casual as changing clothes? Or maybe, the influences of the West has finally fully manifested itself on our shores that we even share not just their preferences for fast foods, credit cards, and way of clothing but also their casual views on sex? There are too many questions left unanswered.

But what all of this tells us is that, sex has become something common place in our society. It has become prevalent. The need to keep it safe must become a top priority health concern of the government. Unless we want the label of the only Christian nation in SouthEast Asia with the highest AIDS/HIV incidence.

It is time the Church opens its eyes and ears to the reality that sex is as commonplace in the country as drinking and smoking is. This is no longer the time to mince words or operate in subtle meanings. It is time the government takes action – solid and concrete actions; not just plans or empty words. The need for education, on what sex is all about, should be now. People should be informed on all accounts so they could make intelligent decisions.

And the place to begin would no doubt be, not just the schools, but the call center companies as well. Of course, this does not imply that the only recent cases of HIV/AIDS are call center agents. There are other alarming new additions to the traditional list of people at high risk of HIV/AIDS but the most glaring additions are call center agents who are young and educated professionals.

News Source: HIV cases soar among Filipino yuppies, call center workers

compensation

When I was young they said that if you study in the best universities of the country like UP, you would have no difficulties finding a job and getting well-paid for it. I have strived for quality education with the intention of finding a job that would compensate well for the skills I’ve worked hard to achieve and learn. Eventually I learned that such is not always the case. In this country that is deep in international debts and filled with greedy and corrupt public servants, most graduates of premier universities find themselves slaves of the BPO industry or candidates for work abroad.

I have had the impression that as a scholar of the country – both when I was in high school and college – I would be working to pay back the taxpayer’s money used to finance my education. I had no inclination that I would be serving foreigners right in my own hometown.

When I went back to Bicol, I was prepared to earn a much lesser salary than what I know I could earn if I was working in Manila. But nothing had prepared me for the reality of how little I could actually earn – and this from reputedly high-paying international companies.

When I left the BPO company I was working for which was paying me a ridiculously small salary, I expected that I would be moving on to a company that would somehow compensate me higher. I was gravely disappointed. I would be earning something even lower (by almost half!) of what I was previously earning – and that is after 3 months of training! For the 3 months of which I am a trainee, I would only earn about a quarter of the daily wage I was earning before. That is what they call an allowance. Not exactly a salary.

My mother kept urging me to be wary of these companies. She kept informing me that these companies have some anomalies in how they transact their business; that just because they are in the province they think they could get away with it. Apparently, it seems that most international companies, particularly of the BPO kind, think that they could expand into provinces and subsequently cut their costs by paying their employees less compared to their Metro Manila counterparts.

Isn’t that a bit unfair? They justify that the cost of living in the province is cheaper compared to Manila but still I think it is unfair to give a ridiculously low salary on that basis. As such what they are paying would not even sustain two persons – it is barely enough even for one. How do they expect those with families to sustain their lives then?

And our government, unfortunately, tolerates such.It seems that for them, as long as they can provide jobs to the jobless, then they are content. They won’t bother to think of the quality of job they provide and whether the international companies are doing an injustice to its employees or not.

These doubts, these questions, unfortunately, I can only air out here. For nowhere in my previous or my current company do I find any avenues to vent them out, lest even to air them. I’m afraid that these companies, they see their employees too often as commodities – as people too desperate for a job that they would jump at anything offered to them. Is this what our country had boiled down to?

The youth are encouraged to finish college educations; to graduate with a college degree; to enter premier universities – for what? To become slaves to international companies that are taking advantage of our country? How long will we remain slaves? Can we not really procure jobs for our own – jobs that would pay the right amount of compensation – fitted to your own skill, education and capacity?

Will we ever get out of the rot that we are in?

No regrets? That is hypocrisy.

I have always tried to live my life with no regrets; to stand up for every decision I make, every opportunity I take. But it would be hypocrisy if I say that my life had no regrets; that I haven’t thought of the what if’s life presents. To be quite honest, I’ve thought of such what if’s a lot of times for my life has been filled with numerous opportunities which I cannot all choose.

I have come to realize that life presents numerous doors and windows of opportunities and we are free to choose which among them we would like to grab – God’s free will. There are no right or wrong opportunities, just good and better or best ones. Often we find that the opportunity we selected was the one that would bring us satisfaction and contentment and we know that we did the right thing. Sometimes though we find out that the opportunity we selected leads us to a tougher life, a tougher road and we are led to think of the what if’s brought about by choosing a different opportunity.

I made my choice when I said I will resign and leave the call center life in pursuit of a career in medical trancriptionist. I said this would suit me because the learning will be continuous and never stagnant and the subject in discussion is related to the field of education I pursued. Yet I will be kidding myself if I do not admit that the compensation I’m receiving have caused me numerous doubtful nights bordering to regret. I will be writing another article to expand on those doubts. For now, there is a greater nagging feeling that this article must serve its purpose of.

My product trainer from the BPO I worked with just sent me a private message via YM. He was aghast to know that I had resigned already from the company. I felt guilty that I hadn’t told him, he was after all my friend, yet since it had been 2 weeks since I left, I knew that a lot already knew the reason for my absence. Apparently, he found out because he was looking for someone he could get as a trainer. The account would be ramping up – a common practice that I knew would eventually happen – and he is tasked to train an insurmountable number of new hires – something he would need assistance with, badly. He was banking on getting me as the additional trainer.

Well, tough luck. I am no longer associated with the company, although admittedly I haven’t cleared things yet. I still have my ID and Maxicare card and I haven’t surrendered my headset yet.

When asked why I left and didn’t wait for any promotional offers – something that was inevitable given my performance – I simply state that my brain was already dying in the repetitious job. Natatanga na ako. This has been a concern I’ve brought up with my supervisor months ago and something he promised he’d do something about. But nothing ever happened. I guess lack of action and empty promises are a common thing in the corpo world. Then again, when I asked my supervisor if I could be promoted to this post or this (there were a lot of promotional opportunities), he would answer that it seems quite impossible since I was not on a certain level yet. In short, I am still a newbie. I would still need to wait months before I could even vie for any promotion.

Funny. They said during training that as long as you are good, then you could get promoted; that performance and not tenureship is the main factor for promotion. Apparently, they were lying or feeding us half-truths. That really irked me and pushed me further to hasten my resignation. Before I resigned, I asked if I could get promoted to the available posts, maybe even submit an application, and I received a negative answer.

That formed my opinion that I would get nowhere in this industry. That my skills would remain unappreciated. And it was further amplified when I was able to resign without much ado. I thought that they would perhaps try to dissuade me; ask me to think about it. They didn’t even talk to me to ask why I wanted out. They just said “Sure. Just render the 30 days requirement.” And when I didn’t, there were no qualms about it. Apparently, even though I did my best to perfect my metrics, and even though I was one of the top performers in the account, I am just a commodity to them – dispensable.

And now I will learn that I was the most likely candidate for the next trainer. I will learn that there is no other person qualified and they may have to seek in other geographical locations for the trainer they need. If only they could have talked to me then and informed me of that possibility – not give me vague answers that it may still take a year before I get promoted anywhere, then maybe I would have stayed; endure a couple weeks more of boredom fueled by the glimmer of hope presented.

But no. That didn’t happen. And now it’s too late for me to go back.

Sayang. I knew I would have made a great trainer.

Missed and Not Missed

10 Things I won’t miss in the BPO Industry

I won’t miss the controlled atmosphere. I won’t miss the fact that we need to call CCOD to ask for breaks or that after a break, we must go on auto-in at once lest we go on OB. I won’t miss the 10-minute total CR break for the entire shift.
I won’t miss the AHT, CSAT and QA advisories and audits.
I won’t miss the “Blocked by Websense” and the constant screen flashes indicating that the GTI is monitoring our computers.
I won’t miss the robotic opening spiel and the other spiels that although are unique to each agent, already sounds robotic due to constant over-use.
I won’t miss the unchallenging issues that keeps on repeating themselves day in day out.
I won’t miss the VR Sales!
I won’t miss the irate customers who, eventhough, is understandably frustrated, can’t comprehend that the other person on the line is a person himself and also has feelings and limitations.
I won’t miss the Log Bus and the ultra early pick-up.
I won’t miss the heavy queues or the excessive avail time.
I won’t miss talking almost non-stop about the same topic for almost 8 hours straight.

10 Things I’ll Miss about the BPO Industry

I’ll miss the kind and appreciative customers and their ear-flapping praises.
I’ll miss the bloopers incurred by the non-technical customers.
I’ll miss the daily IS chats with my guinea pigs.
I’ll miss the pizza nights and other apparently absurd theme nights.
I’ll miss Outlook, the email blasts and spams and my uber professional looking signature.
I’ll miss the pantry and the cheese cupcake and Big 250 Apple.
I’ll miss the team buildings and inuman days.
I’ll miss the stolen chats with a particular CCOD.
I’ll miss the fast rides with Kuya Adam.
I’ll miss the rec area and the Fuzzball and internet room.

Comparatively, the things I’ll miss are things I could work around with so as to have them back or things I could do without. The really important things – like work satisfaction and fulfillment are the ones provided by the new job that I haven’t been able to achieve with my previous job.

When I am asked why I left the BPO to become an MT (medical transcriptionist), I give the standard answer below, which I realized later on, is really true.

MT is the closest thing I could get to a medical career. I took up BS Bio with the intention of becoming a doctor but I realized that I could not cure patients and make them feel better for I lack the sympathy and care to do so. However, I am fascinated with the study of medicine. Yet for me to pursue medicine purely for education’s sake is a luxury I cannot afford. MT will give me the education I want while also filling my pocket.

gray areas

In life there are things I consider as black and white; right and wrong. There is absolutely no gray area in between. For example, it is wrong to murder and though I watch dozens of gory films where they slaughter each other 90% of the time, I still won’t consider doing the act myself. Another thing (and I don’t mean to judge anyone with this) is I consider pms or pre-marital sex wrong and even though I long to have sex I will never do so unless I am actually married (so I guess I should hurry up and get married – just kidding!). Also I believe lying is wrong and even in the most scrutinizing moments I would rather remain silent than tell a lie against a truth that could implicate or hurt.

Yet there are also some things in life that are gray and never clear; leaving us with the discretion to figure out whether it is right or wrong. This is true for most things like the opportunities we chose to take or the life decisions we chose to make. Just as I believe that God gave man free will and intelligence to determine which of the countless opportunities he presents to him is for his best, then so I believe that one will never know if such gray areas are right or wrong unless one tries them out.

On Monday I plan to submit my resignation letter (finally!) and at the same time submit my resume to the adjoining company. Of course I still do not know if it is a right or wrong decision since basically the other company may very well fall into the BPO category even if it is a non-voice and completely different job description (med transcriptionist). I do not know if I will save myself from the current stagnation I am experiencing by jumping to this company – I probably will for the first 3-6 months while everything is a novelty to me but beyond that I cannot really tell. I do not know if I will do myself a huge favor by actually getting out of this company I am in before I receive my first 13th month pay.

But one thing I do know. My soul will never rest and will never be satisfied if I don’t try the other path. I am at a point in my life wherein I am free to try anything I chose to do; wherein I have no financial obligations to anyone except myself and wherein if I get into a tight financial spot I can still count on my parents to bail me out. Lucky me right? So why should I waste this golden opportunity stagnating myself in a company or in an industry wherein loyalty results to only miniscule salary increases and wherein jumping companies (otherwise known as piracy) is encouraged – for higher salary or rate that is.

So maybe I am making a right decision. Maybe not. But who can tell unless I make the decision, right?

Gray Matter of the Spinal Cord (the "butterfly" in the middle)

Out. Get Out.

I really want out from this dirty business that I’m in. Today I experience my first rude customer. I’ve had sarcastic, angry and irate customers but I’ve never encountered one who will let out a string of curses over the phone. I’ve had customers with issues worse than his and their cases were exceedingly more frustrating than his yet never did I hear them utter a single curse and if they happen to do so, they apologize for it and make it clear that it wasn’t meant for me. Yet this guy, he refused to answer my questions and appeared to be knowledgeable about everything when he clearly isn’t. Then again this post is not a rant about him and what he did. This post is about how sick and tired I am of the industry I am in not only because of the boredom it forces me to live in, as I’ve pointed out in previous posts, but also because of the utter disregard for basic worker’s rights the industry has for the bulk of its constituents.

The BPO Industry

The Inquirer September 13 editorial has created such a stir in me, a fire that although is not yet rapidly spreading is slowly brewing. GMA kept bragging that her administration has provided thousands of jobs to newly graduates and other jobless Filipinos. She brags that though there is a recession, the BPO industry keeps on booming and Filipinos can look ahead to having paid jobs. Never mind the quality of the jobs she created, never mind the damage it is doing to our culture and our society – so long as she can say she did something. It is indeed true that because of the BPO industry a lot of jobs and opportunities have been created for those brave and strong enough to enter it’s perilous walls and manage to actually survive it. I do not contest that. I have seen how it benefits and continue to benefit a lot of people. It is a job after all. Better than the current alternative for most people – unemployment.

Yet what I hate is the fact that in this industry, its employees gets exploited all too easily. Companies take advantage of the situation that an agent cannot simply resign otherwise they face unemployment. They take advantage of the fact that people badly need their jobs to somehow survive. They cut out on basic services and rights; give unequal rights and treatments and unsanitary and unsafe working conditions. I don’t know about other companies and I am not about to bad mouth my own company but in the 7 months that I’ve been here, I’ve seen more injustices than I can count. And I’ve heard disgruntled remarks that remains as such – never forwarded as valid complaints because no resolutions are ever made.

And with how GMA seems to be encouraging this unfair treatment given her exlusion of the BPO industry from the Sept 13 and 21 holidays thus removing the priviledge of the workers to receive additional pay for those days, it will come as no surprise that companies will further exploit their agents. Afterall, a friend told me that agents are merely commodities, not assets to the company. How I wish companies would realize that their employees are the foundation of their beloved companies – the blood and sweat that continues to keep it alive on a daily basis. Without their “beloved” employees whose rights and welfare they should constantly be on the lookout for, nothing will eventually come out of their companies even with the multitude of investors they can get.

mistakes and chances

Do you correct one mistake by creating another even if the other mistake is a lesser evil?

I know, somewhere within me, that the resignation I have dreamed of a few weeks ago wouldn’t come quite as easily. Somehow I now know that I will not be resigning this early and I will be stuck in this stupidity for a much longer period than I wanted. Yet I wonder if I could somehow mitigate the circumstances by transferring to another company. There is a neighboring BPO company who is, as always, hiring. It’s a small company, judging by their building and facility but maybe I just deem that because there is a much larger and better facilitated company, the one I work for, beside it. The accounts involve medical transcription and teaching English to Korean kids. I must say they sound more appealing than the one I now have.

There should really be nothing preventing me from transferring to the other company. It’s not like I have much of a prospect in the company that I now work for nor does a promotion in this company promise a higher salary (internal promotion does not allow for a higher increase as compared to external promotion). For all I know the reputedly smaller competitor may even give me a higher position and a higher salary as evidenced by my current experience. There is the possibility that it may not be as stable as the company I work for now, but in the dynamic BPO industry, who really cares about stability?

Yet this is not really the job I want. I have no doubts that once the novelty wears off, I will be constrained to boredom once more – subject to dissatisfaction, disillusionment, and depression. Changing BPO companies is not the solution I am looking for. It is not the satisfaction that I am craving for. Yet now, for the meantime, while I am still debating what I should really do or if I even have the guts and ability to do it; while I am still determining who I am or the path I should really take in life, maybe another mistake wouldn’t hurt so much. Maybe another mistake wouldn’t do much harm. Maybe this mistake will actually do me more good pointing me to the direction I would really need to take.

chugging in the log bus

Horrifying. Appalling.

Harsh and excessive words yet I can think of no other words to describe the experience I’ve had en route to work today. I cannot fathom how heartless, merciless or plain stupid the administration can get for doing what they did to their “prized” agents. They say that agents are the backbone of the business. That agents are the ones who bring in the money. That without the agents, there would be no support whatsoever.

But why do they treat us like this? I have no qualms if they sent the “see-through” bus to pick us up, even at night when the wind is bitingly bitter and cold. But to have that bus pick us up when the weather is rainy, how stupid and merciless can they get? Don’t they know that the speed of the bus creates a wind force that could send even the tiniest droplets of rain pelting in our faces? I had to endure an approximately 20 minute ride to the work site and for that duration my face was wet with rain splashes. Not only that, I was bitterly cold even with a jacket and my hair was unceremoniously swept away in a most unfashionable way. To think I was sitting in the middle of the bus. I wonder how those sitting at the edges felt. I was boiling with rage inside.

Was it too much to ask for them to simply send over the mini-bus, a bus with decent roof and wall cover on such weather as this, especially since the bus was readily available and the number of people aboard that “see-through” bus, which is officially called LOG bus, is enough to fit in the mini bus.

Furthermore, was it too much to send the two vans to make the pick-up for the relatively small number of agents coming in at 10pm? I would moot the point that they were trying to save on gas because when I was the sole agent coming to the site for a particular shift, they would send the van for me when it would have been cheaper to just give me transportation allowance in cash.

I must say it was utter disrespect and disregard to basic human and employee rights to provide a transportation that would highly inconvenience even expose the employees to certain dangers and illnesses. I wish the management had employed more common sense in what they did. All sensibilities point out that I must make a case out of this with my supervisor and the other people concerned.

But I guess I’ll wait and see if they repeat the same atrocity again. (Atrocity.. hmm.. not quite the right word but I like the sound of it so indulge me.)

Addendum:

I later learned that the “support” people like the supervisors got to ride in the vans and enjoy its plush comforts. Apparently, everywhere there is discrimination of the classes. Tsk.

Breaking Free — Soon

I need some life outside work. Something that will boost me up or make me see the multi-facets of the life I am living. I need to be able to have a life outside what I do, not to be too engrossed with where I am and to be free of the shackles that work forcibly binds me to. Even though most of my waking time is consumed by my job, I must not be consumed by it. Even if I get to do nothing else most of the time because of the nature of the work that I do, I must still force myself, try my very best to break free of its clutches.

When I was a student I thought that working will allow me the freedom I have dreamed of. When I was a student I thought working will give me the time to do the things I really want to do. Now I see that I was wrong. Being a student already gave me all the freedom that I had or wanted in life. I was just bogged down by projects and exams but apart from that I get to join organizations wherein I got to explore myself and hone my skills and abilities. I was even able to travel to various places because of my activities. When I was a student, my social network expanded to immeasurable proportions and I got to interact with a lot of people from all possible walks of life – from the poorest of the poor, like kids in an illegal settlement in UP to the old rich of Philippine society like Mrs. Judy Araneta. I got to experience life for what it was really like – how to live amongst the poor and how to move alongside the rich. When I was a student, I had a life.

Now I am working. I am earning my own bucks and making my own way in the world. Unfortunately, I am also not living the life I wanted; the life I thought of or imagined. I feel more than ever that I am imprisoned in a life bounded by very strict and stringent walls. And where there is nowhere else I could turn to except to get out the door. I desperately want to take the exit, while I am still able to see it – to go out in the open fields and experience freedom again like I’ve used to. Sadly, I am not at liberty to do that – YET. I have no doubts that once I get the green light to flee, I will flee. I will leave this prison I have gotten myself into – to enter another prison? I sure hope not. I want to leave and forever remain in the freedom the meadow offers. I know I can make it out there.

It is scary to live in the open meadows – unsure what would happen next, uncertain when the next meal would be. As much as imprisonment sounds dull and boorish, it still affords security – security of shelter, of food, of provision. Yet in life, or in my life, there are needs greater than security. Needs greater than basic provisions. If only I could get the green light for these things, there is no doubt that I will pursue the higher needs – needs of self-fulfillment like Maslow said.

But for now, I must content myself with this prison I am in. The meadow is always there on the other side. So long as I can hear the birds chirping, feel the rays of the sun shining through, smell the fragrance of the dew-stained grass, I will remain at ease; at peace that the meadow is still there, waiting for me.

Breather

Days like this, I feel more than ever inept for the job I’m in. Not because I lack the skill or the discipline for it but because I feel like my skills, my abilities, and my talents are severely overlooked and underrated. Days like this I feel more than ever that it is time to quit. To look for a more challenging job wherein my full potential is exploited and the only reason I get marked down or overlooked is because I really do not have what it takes for the next step or the next challenge.

I guess I was placed on vacation leave, a rather unexpected one at that, to prepare me for the bad news I was to receive. Part of me does not think I should be blogging about this, for reasons that people I know will read about it, but then what is the purpose of my blog if I cannot share my sentiments to it. Besides, I have been talking a lot about politics the past days and I need to take a breather and talk about something else lest someone mistakes my blog to be a political blog instead of a personal one.

Maybe he was indeed better qualified. Maybe he was indeed a better candidate than I am. Maybe he had better stats than me. In any case, he was accepted for the position I believe I was fit for; for the position I knew I was supposed to have. I don’t even know why I was not selected. I guess they don’t tell you that. They just leave you to figure things out on your own – see where you went wrong and resolve it yourself. Maybe I was so out of the action last week, for very valid reasons that I do not know if they checked, and they thought that since my attendance was sort of erratic, I was sort of losing my touch and is a bit irresponsible for the job in question. Again, track records don’t matter I guess because they just have to look at the immediate and that’s it. You’re judged.

A tenured agent approached me and asked if I applied for the post. I think I have heard that question a dozen times already and I simply replied an unemotional YES. I don’t want her to see how upset I was for not being selected. She probed further if I got interviewed and by whom and when, and I just replied the standard answers to her questions. I asked her why she asked but she never gave a straight answer. She just smiled and left. I wonder why she thought to ask me. We were never close and I never disclose to anyone except my immediate supervisor my plans for my job.

Maybe I am being silly and immature. This is corpo world after all. Dog eat dog. Full of crap. Funny I ever considered working in the corpo environment, where I know people do step on people to reach the top; where I know connections have a way of creating favors skills cannot. Still it hurts. Much as I want to think well of the issue; make some graceful congratulatory remark; emulate Mar Roxas for his willingness to yield; I’m afraid that I am unable to. Tears constantly threaten to spill from my lacrimals and I have to stop them – I still have an 8 hour shift to fill in. Good thing I only have tonight and tomorrow night to work, then I’ll be going on my day off. I’ll be temporarily forgetting all this crap.

Another thing that really pisses me off is the survey I just got. It wasn’t even a survey for me but for another agent. But as with the case for these surveys, customers cannot really be blamed for wanting to express their opinions. It is just a glitch, and an unfortunate one at that, wherein agents will receive bad surveys for the bad service they did not perform. And now I am being asked to account for the DSAT survey and to analyze what went wrong with it. Well what went wrong was that the customer answered the wrong survey and it wasn’t his fault. It was the system’s fault.

I want to leave but sad to say I cannot. I do not want to leave only to move to a work totally wrong again for me. When I leave the work I want to transfer to is the work that I want, not another work that I’ll next hate. I do not want to create a string of hated jobs. But as of now I cannot pursue the work I want, not when the house financial situation is still shaky and somewhat dependent on me. I will need to wait. I have to. As of now, I have no other choice.

I entitled this post Breather because it is a breather from the political posts I’ve been writing about the last days. I feel like I’ve also came from a breather from the routine of work, a breather punctuated by the death of my grandfather and the recent buzz in politics; a breather that is now unfortunately coming to an end. I am again being sucked into the vortex of this relentless life as a call center agent – a hapless technician whose brain cells are dying from the rigorous routine of similar boring work issues.

A friend from work told me that life as an agent will never satisfy me. I need to get promoted to have a louder voice; a better perspective; a challenging duty. I need to get promoted quick. But with the changing ratings, the inconsiderate work rules and the questionable qualifications plus the feeling of utter disregard for one’s abilities, I have no concrete solid hope for ever climbing the ladder. Not that I really care. I just want a more challenging task.

And for that, the challenge I long for, the brain activity I crave for, I turn to other means. Work won’t satisfy so I must look for some other outlet.

Now back to those political discussions.

Addendum:

I just really want to know why. Why him and not me? But I am too afraid to ask.