Tag: passion

inspired to a burning desire

A few days ago I was inspired to look for a certain folding technique we used for the brochure of the 9th Bicol Business Week. I was part of this initiative last 2013 and I must say although filled with doubts, angst and hardships, not to mention loads of stress, I was immensely proud when we were able to pull it off. I won’t be hypocritical and admit that seeing my name plastered by the wall – labelled as one of the Best of Bicol – and having had the chance to be with similar like-minded persons who burned with the same passion as I do – was a heady and fulfilling feeling. It felt as if I was having the time of my life, despite the stress, and I was living it a dream. I felt proud of what I have accomplished, the people I worked with and the entity we embodied – the Best of Bicol.

Fast forward, I have been disconnected with such great people for quite a year already. I have relegated back to my employee mundane life – in search of the constant outlet for a socially worthy cause. I have always had the social fire burning deep in me – embers most of the time but flaming to such burning heights in the face of disaster (Typhoon Glenda saw me wanting to volunteer and help out where I can) or in the face of social enterprise – like right now.

Remembering the team I had worked with, I searched across Facebook to find out what they were up to. (Yes – I am the social media savvy person who despite the resources is humongously unawares of what is happening to my more than 1000+ Facebook friends.) Well, a search across Facebook revealed that in the year since I volunteered to their cause, they have blazed new trails and crossed frontiers catapulting them to such even greater heights than before. It’s inspiring it burns a hole in my heart which hurts.

From it’s humble beginnings as a school project, the team, powered by their generous hearts and overwhelming vision for the country has brought their project to a full scale social enterprise – the kind that draws the attention of the world. I am in awe. I am inspired. I long to follow.

And so it begs me to ask – Lord, what is this fire burning within me? Will it consume me to flames and burn me or will I be able to flare up, burn brighter and bring You glory? I long to be socially responsible – I have always been in the lookout how. I know I have a dream – a vision so grand it scares me. I have people who support such a dream, even though it appears so seemingly impossible.

And so I dream. Yet I remain here. How I go from here to there where my dream is, I do not know. But one thing I do know – God places dreams in your heart. These are His visions for you – his plans for your future. Will you accept the dream no matter how seemingly impossible? If your faith is true and you accept the challenge, then doors of opportunities will open. And even when something seems insignificant, to God who sees and knows everything, it’s all part of the pieces of the puzzle that would soon come together to form a beautiful picture.

Breaking Free — Soon

I need some life outside work. Something that will boost me up or make me see the multi-facets of the life I am living. I need to be able to have a life outside what I do, not to be too engrossed with where I am and to be free of the shackles that work forcibly binds me to. Even though most of my waking time is consumed by my job, I must not be consumed by it. Even if I get to do nothing else most of the time because of the nature of the work that I do, I must still force myself, try my very best to break free of its clutches.

When I was a student I thought that working will allow me the freedom I have dreamed of. When I was a student I thought working will give me the time to do the things I really want to do. Now I see that I was wrong. Being a student already gave me all the freedom that I had or wanted in life. I was just bogged down by projects and exams but apart from that I get to join organizations wherein I got to explore myself and hone my skills and abilities. I was even able to travel to various places because of my activities. When I was a student, my social network expanded to immeasurable proportions and I got to interact with a lot of people from all possible walks of life – from the poorest of the poor, like kids in an illegal settlement in UP to the old rich of Philippine society like Mrs. Judy Araneta. I got to experience life for what it was really like – how to live amongst the poor and how to move alongside the rich. When I was a student, I had a life.

Now I am working. I am earning my own bucks and making my own way in the world. Unfortunately, I am also not living the life I wanted; the life I thought of or imagined. I feel more than ever that I am imprisoned in a life bounded by very strict and stringent walls. And where there is nowhere else I could turn to except to get out the door. I desperately want to take the exit, while I am still able to see it – to go out in the open fields and experience freedom again like I’ve used to. Sadly, I am not at liberty to do that – YET. I have no doubts that once I get the green light to flee, I will flee. I will leave this prison I have gotten myself into – to enter another prison? I sure hope not. I want to leave and forever remain in the freedom the meadow offers. I know I can make it out there.

It is scary to live in the open meadows – unsure what would happen next, uncertain when the next meal would be. As much as imprisonment sounds dull and boorish, it still affords security – security of shelter, of food, of provision. Yet in life, or in my life, there are needs greater than security. Needs greater than basic provisions. If only I could get the green light for these things, there is no doubt that I will pursue the higher needs – needs of self-fulfillment like Maslow said.

But for now, I must content myself with this prison I am in. The meadow is always there on the other side. So long as I can hear the birds chirping, feel the rays of the sun shining through, smell the fragrance of the dew-stained grass, I will remain at ease; at peace that the meadow is still there, waiting for me.

writing is my passion

I am a writer at heart.

It seems ideas of what to write about always keep popping in my head. I bet with some formal education on writing, I might be able to develop this talent further. Maybe then this is the direction I’ve been looking for? A career in writing? Of course at this point everything would have to start out as a hobby. Some blog posts here and there and some writings here and there. Bits and pieces of the written me somewhere.

I know I would have to develop some individual style of writing. Discover what area or aspect of literature I’m good at writing at. And where could I begin exploring that if not by blogging?

And I am indeed grateful that this laptop has finally served the purpose I had envisioned it to serve. Which to as a writing portal. A writing medium. Now I am fulfilling that dream of directly typing in my thoughts to cyber world. Of course there are times when I miss my volumes of journals which I believe are gathering mold somewhere in my drawers. Yet I know that for the longest time I’ve wished for a scenario exactly like this. A laptop in my lap and my fingers busily typing in my thoughts which are faster than I can recover.

And now what are my topics for today? I’ve thought of some blog ideas like how SM’s opening day was greeted by a storm – a literal weather storm and how irrational my position and a friend’s position is when it comes to love or what we allude to as love lives. And then of course there are the many reviews I’ve lined up that I still can’t get around to writing. And now I’ve managed to come up with some idea for a blog – a blog that I could actually publish.

One idea is to have Cuddle and Cuchie as the “bloggers” and for them to act like columnists who answers people’s biological queries. One idea is to simply write about biological entities – in a really unscientific and layman sort of way. Just so I could still make use of my Bio education. Another, and this just came to mind, is to write about the adventures of a Bio student – what it feels to dissect things etc. Then again another idea is to publish the blog I have now and to make my profile and other incriminating information anonymous so I could pass the blog on as some diary of some hapless soul in the universe who is sometimes happy and sometimes sad. A very normal individual who simply wants the world to listen to her life struggles. And maybe I could make an alter ego of myself though I still haven’t decided how to go about with that.

Maybe I could also write about the struggles of a TSR yet at one point or another that line of writing will most probably end since my being a TSR isn’t really that interesting. I could cook up a lot of anecdotes from my calls but they won’t be enough to sustain a blog.

The most probable here is the one wherein I would simply remove all incriminating posts in my blog so it would reflect no personal detail about me but all details about my life. and the one about Bio concepts explained in layman’s terms. The others might be simply too much work.

And of course we cannot write about things we do not know right? So I cannot write about travels and food trips which are two subjects I would have loved to write about. I need to gain a certain degree of experience for those things to be the subject of my writings.

Maybe then time will come when I could write about this things and when that time comes I know I’m no longer as tied down to this binding kind of work that I have.
And when would that happen? In two or three years time maybe? Hopefully.

writer in me with nothing to write about

a while back i was itching to write about my topsy-turvy sentiments. now i can’t find the words to voice out my thoughts.

in less than 10 minutes i should be back at my station. i haven’t even eaten a morsel of my choco chip cookies. yet my mind wants to vent out whatever emotion it is keeping at bay. it seems i want to release something. yet i cannot. not at this instant.

it seems they’re all there — at bay. awaiting release.

why won’t release come? *sigh*

maybe hunger pangs is dulling my brain. silencing both the cerebrum and the hypothalamus.

the blogger in me

part of the reason why i haven’t been posting anything on this blog, apart from what the toll at work did to my body, is because i’ve discovered several blogs that i liked to read.

most of them were of course what blogs should be – a shot at making serious national issues a comical or satirical relief. being a current affairs junkie (as of last year), and having gone without any update on current affairs for 5 months now, i’ve turned to this blog for my source of what is happening on the local scene now.

of course they do not provide a complete picture of events but they are as close and as relaxing as i could get. reading online newspapers, are for me, albeit ecologically friendly, tiresome and eye-stressing. it seems news are better watched on tv or more preferably, read on newspapers.

and so discovering these blogs were for me like discovering gold mines. not only did i find comic relief and diversion from my mundane existence, i’ve also found inspiration on what blogs should look like. on what blogs that other people read, should be like.

and so, here i am. tired and beaten from a night’s work, yet still conceptualizing in the recesses of my brain, a unique topic to blog about. a unique name to create. and a unique thing to talk about. quite a feat in this world of carbon copies i must say. yet i do know i need another outlet of myself. i cannot confine myself to the four corners of my work and my sleep – which is what had pretty much defined my lifestyle.

i thought working would be my liberation, it turned out being a yuppie was my prison.

i hope to break free of the prison i inadvertently gotten myself into.

and blogging – in the way that the blogs i am reading – might just be the cure for that.