job - Cerebral Insights

on teaching and being a teacher

A writer in Peyups said that some people are born with a natural and innate ability to be a teacher. He said that there are people who are blessed with the gift of teaching and who are natural teachers. Teaching is just part of who they are. They are gifted with the ability to pass on knowledge that others can learn easily.

In my years as a student, I have indeed noticed that there are people who are innate teachers. I have had teachers who were not the experts in the field they’re teaching but who nonetheless can convey knowledge really effectively. Then there are also those who are experts in their field but are unable to convey their vast knowledge.

Early on, I knew that I had the natural ability to teach. It was apparent in how I share my knowledge with my peers; on how I coach them on certain subject matters. I have had no difficulties sharing knowledge in a way that people can learn from it. I do not spoon feed it but rather I know how to encourage someone to discover and learn it for themselves. Most of my volunteer works were centered on how I teach others. I teach kids most of the time and I know I’m effective at it. Results don’t lie. Neither do affirmation of parents and colleagues.

sunskul kids — two of the kids I taught in Sunday School

And so it was but natural that one of the doors of opportunity open for me is teaching. I have been asked by my thesis adviser to consider teaching in the Institute. I have been encouraged by my aunts, family and bestfriend to try out teaching. I have no qualms that I can do it.

Yet I shied away from the prospect. After graduation, in my mind’s eye, I wanted to see the world. I wanted to experience the corporate setting and leave the school setting. I viewed teaching as being stuck in a routine on an environment I have been living in for the most part of my life. I wanted to discover what lay beyond the four corners of the classroom (figuratively).

So I set out to the corporate world. Armed with my business attires, I ventured forth. Only to be gravely disappointed and dismayed. (For more details, just refer to previous blogs about work.)

Now I am given yet another opportunity to go back to the academe. Whether I would peruse teaching methods or a master’s degree, is still too early for me to say at this point. But what I do know is that teaching is sounding more and more appealing by the minute.

I know I look like a person devoid of direction in life. I guess this happens when you have so many opportunities available and liberty to try them all out. When you find out one doesn’t work as good as you hoped it would, you try the next one. What happens then if in the end you find that all of them doesn’t work out to your satisfaction – you weigh out all options and go to the next best thing, I guess.

So there I’ve said it. Teaching, well here I come. And in the process I have to eat my words on how I would never want to be a teacher. Tsk.

utopia in the corporate world

Thirty more minutes to go until work is officially over for the day. As always, I find ways to blog while at work. Yipee! I still cannot comprehend entirely how I became a blogger by nature – by passion – when years ago I detest personal bloggers and their apparent livid disclosure of themselves. Now, I am on the forefront of personal blogging – shamelessly mixing personal experiences with social concerns and as such expressing my views.

If days ago I had been ranting about how regretful I was of transferring companies way too soon, after hours of listening to medical dictations and learning about urinary diversion, cholecystostomy, erectile dysfunction, deep epigastric veins and corpora cavernosa, among others, I am enjoying the job more and more. Indeed, I am here for the learning, not for the monetary compensation.

Then again, if I was not an activist or a rebel back in college, despite the nature of my surroundings, I find that I am becoming one at work. I seem to be on the brink of not only inciting the company HR or administration, but also my co-workers, to care more about our rights and working conditions. Take for example my utter stupidity at signing a contract stating a bond of 2 years but withholding information about the exact monetary compensation. I believe, albeit too late, that when we sign contracts, the interests of both parties must be clearly stated. Unfortunately, it seems the contract I had signed stated only one party’s intentions clearly and blinded by desperation for a new job, I signed all too eagerly. What happens afterwards, I can only shudder in fright and pray that no anomalies arise.

Then again the corporate environment is really one heck of a maze that still presents a lot of labyrinths left to be explored. I have still a lot to learn about how this world works and how I can use things to my advantage. Also, I discover that indeed I am too idealistic when it comes to what I want to do or what I want to happen in life. A friend asked me what kind of job I wanted and I replied “a job that would give me fulfillment, constant learning and high compensation”.

Now I know I am wishing for the clouds.

Missed and Not Missed

10 Things I won’t miss in the BPO Industry

I won’t miss the controlled atmosphere. I won’t miss the fact that we need to call CCOD to ask for breaks or that after a break, we must go on auto-in at once lest we go on OB. I won’t miss the 10-minute total CR break for the entire shift.
I won’t miss the AHT, CSAT and QA advisories and audits.
I won’t miss the “Blocked by Websense” and the constant screen flashes indicating that the GTI is monitoring our computers.
I won’t miss the robotic opening spiel and the other spiels that although are unique to each agent, already sounds robotic due to constant over-use.
I won’t miss the unchallenging issues that keeps on repeating themselves day in day out.
I won’t miss the VR Sales!
I won’t miss the irate customers who, eventhough, is understandably frustrated, can’t comprehend that the other person on the line is a person himself and also has feelings and limitations.
I won’t miss the Log Bus and the ultra early pick-up.
I won’t miss the heavy queues or the excessive avail time.
I won’t miss talking almost non-stop about the same topic for almost 8 hours straight.

10 Things I’ll Miss about the BPO Industry

I’ll miss the kind and appreciative customers and their ear-flapping praises.
I’ll miss the bloopers incurred by the non-technical customers.
I’ll miss the daily IS chats with my guinea pigs.
I’ll miss the pizza nights and other apparently absurd theme nights.
I’ll miss Outlook, the email blasts and spams and my uber professional looking signature.
I’ll miss the pantry and the cheese cupcake and Big 250 Apple.
I’ll miss the team buildings and inuman days.
I’ll miss the stolen chats with a particular CCOD.
I’ll miss the fast rides with Kuya Adam.
I’ll miss the rec area and the Fuzzball and internet room.

Comparatively, the things I’ll miss are things I could work around with so as to have them back or things I could do without. The really important things – like work satisfaction and fulfillment are the ones provided by the new job that I haven’t been able to achieve with my previous job.

When I am asked why I left the BPO to become an MT (medical transcriptionist), I give the standard answer below, which I realized later on, is really true.

MT is the closest thing I could get to a medical career. I took up BS Bio with the intention of becoming a doctor but I realized that I could not cure patients and make them feel better for I lack the sympathy and care to do so. However, I am fascinated with the study of medicine. Yet for me to pursue medicine purely for education’s sake is a luxury I cannot afford. MT will give me the education I want while also filling my pocket.

wake me up

Am I dreaming? It still feels surreal – this new job of mine. I still wake up every morning or go to work daily thinking that I would need to log in on the AVAYA and deliver my opening spiels. Sometimes I wonder if I would wake up in the middle of a call, only to find out that I am not really an MT but a call center agent still. Maybe it’s the distance of the two companies – they are literally neighbors so going to work everyday as an MT feels like going to work as a call center agent. Maybe it’s the swiftness of the transition – one evening I was taking calls, the next I was already training as an MT.

For whatever reasons I may have, I am glad to be in this new job of mine and if it really is a dream, please wake me up so I can turn it into reality. Much as I miss the old environment I was in – apparently it had more comforts when it came to amenities and facilities, I still wouldn’t give up what I have now. Even though the work is definitely more frustrating – it gets challenging when you find that you cannot spell a particular word and you cannot understand what the dictator is saying, I am still immensely contented with it. For I am learning new things everyday and I know I will continue to learn. I know I will not stagnate – not for a really long time.

And as I told my interviewer, being an MT is the closest thing I could get to a medical career. I cannot be a doctor, for I know that I could not cure patients – I lack the sympathy criterion. Yet I am deeply fascinated by the study of medicine – this branch of science that deals with the human body and its processes. However, to study medicine for the sake of education is a luxury I cannot afford as of the moment. And so I must get what I can get and being an MT is one sure way of learning medicine without really paying for it. In fact I am earning while I am learning.

Time to go to another shift.

Breather

Days like this, I feel more than ever inept for the job I’m in. Not because I lack the skill or the discipline for it but because I feel like my skills, my abilities, and my talents are severely overlooked and underrated. Days like this I feel more than ever that it is time to quit. To look for a more challenging job wherein my full potential is exploited and the only reason I get marked down or overlooked is because I really do not have what it takes for the next step or the next challenge.

I guess I was placed on vacation leave, a rather unexpected one at that, to prepare me for the bad news I was to receive. Part of me does not think I should be blogging about this, for reasons that people I know will read about it, but then what is the purpose of my blog if I cannot share my sentiments to it. Besides, I have been talking a lot about politics the past days and I need to take a breather and talk about something else lest someone mistakes my blog to be a political blog instead of a personal one.

Maybe he was indeed better qualified. Maybe he was indeed a better candidate than I am. Maybe he had better stats than me. In any case, he was accepted for the position I believe I was fit for; for the position I knew I was supposed to have. I don’t even know why I was not selected. I guess they don’t tell you that. They just leave you to figure things out on your own – see where you went wrong and resolve it yourself. Maybe I was so out of the action last week, for very valid reasons that I do not know if they checked, and they thought that since my attendance was sort of erratic, I was sort of losing my touch and is a bit irresponsible for the job in question. Again, track records don’t matter I guess because they just have to look at the immediate and that’s it. You’re judged.

A tenured agent approached me and asked if I applied for the post. I think I have heard that question a dozen times already and I simply replied an unemotional YES. I don’t want her to see how upset I was for not being selected. She probed further if I got interviewed and by whom and when, and I just replied the standard answers to her questions. I asked her why she asked but she never gave a straight answer. She just smiled and left. I wonder why she thought to ask me. We were never close and I never disclose to anyone except my immediate supervisor my plans for my job.

Maybe I am being silly and immature. This is corpo world after all. Dog eat dog. Full of crap. Funny I ever considered working in the corpo environment, where I know people do step on people to reach the top; where I know connections have a way of creating favors skills cannot. Still it hurts. Much as I want to think well of the issue; make some graceful congratulatory remark; emulate Mar Roxas for his willingness to yield; I’m afraid that I am unable to. Tears constantly threaten to spill from my lacrimals and I have to stop them – I still have an 8 hour shift to fill in. Good thing I only have tonight and tomorrow night to work, then I’ll be going on my day off. I’ll be temporarily forgetting all this crap.

Another thing that really pisses me off is the survey I just got. It wasn’t even a survey for me but for another agent. But as with the case for these surveys, customers cannot really be blamed for wanting to express their opinions. It is just a glitch, and an unfortunate one at that, wherein agents will receive bad surveys for the bad service they did not perform. And now I am being asked to account for the DSAT survey and to analyze what went wrong with it. Well what went wrong was that the customer answered the wrong survey and it wasn’t his fault. It was the system’s fault.

I want to leave but sad to say I cannot. I do not want to leave only to move to a work totally wrong again for me. When I leave the work I want to transfer to is the work that I want, not another work that I’ll next hate. I do not want to create a string of hated jobs. But as of now I cannot pursue the work I want, not when the house financial situation is still shaky and somewhat dependent on me. I will need to wait. I have to. As of now, I have no other choice.

I entitled this post Breather because it is a breather from the political posts I’ve been writing about the last days. I feel like I’ve also came from a breather from the routine of work, a breather punctuated by the death of my grandfather and the recent buzz in politics; a breather that is now unfortunately coming to an end. I am again being sucked into the vortex of this relentless life as a call center agent – a hapless technician whose brain cells are dying from the rigorous routine of similar boring work issues.

A friend from work told me that life as an agent will never satisfy me. I need to get promoted to have a louder voice; a better perspective; a challenging duty. I need to get promoted quick. But with the changing ratings, the inconsiderate work rules and the questionable qualifications plus the feeling of utter disregard for one’s abilities, I have no concrete solid hope for ever climbing the ladder. Not that I really care. I just want a more challenging task.

And for that, the challenge I long for, the brain activity I crave for, I turn to other means. Work won’t satisfy so I must look for some other outlet.

Now back to those political discussions.

Addendum:

I just really want to know why. Why him and not me? But I am too afraid to ask.

work rants yet again

One moment of irresponsibility. A lifetime to pay for it.

Apparently, I’ve confirmed that I will never be able to get that apprenticeship post. I was not even endorsed for it so that my case could be reviewed and considered. There was even no decency to inform me that my application has been rejected. I had to learn through other, unofficial means that I won’t be getting the part because I wasn’t even qualified for the part in the first place. Maybe I should ask for my resume back. I could still use it and submit it elsewhere.

Then another thing that really pissed me off was that they just swapped my schedule. They said that if one did well in the metrics one will have the privilege to make a bid for his/her preferred schedule. I made my bid. I expected to get it. After all, I was one of the top agents of the team. I found out that the schedule was actually granted. BUT there was this agent who wanted to swap her schedule for mine. It was my day-off when all of this happened. By the time I got back to the office, the swap has been made and I had no say about it. They didn’t even ask for my permission. Oh yes they called me but it was four in the morning when they did! The whole house was asleep and everyone was awakened by the call – which I didn’t really get to answer. And when I asked my supervisor why he called, he didn’t even bother to explain why. I guess the bad news had to shock me first, without him in the office and without him hearing my angry tirade.

Oh yes I was angry. I was really pissed off. I work my ass off in this job, do all I can to be a good and worthy agent, try to deliver the best service that I can and the simple things I ask they won’t even grant. I want to say “to hell with them” but I have been raised a good Christian, had spent my college years growing up in the Lord, and I have learned that what would Jesus do (WWJD) in this situation is to turn the other cheek and say “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.”

And so I hold my tears up. I just sniff and try my best not to cry; feign a convincible cheerful voice to my customer and do my best in my calls again.

But if before I try to take in as many calls as possible, to help lower the number of calls waiting and try to increase the service level, now I try to prolong a call as much as I can and even make use of the 1 minute after call. Before, I would almost lose my voice because right after I deliver my closing spiel to one customer I would immediately answer the next call and deliver my opening spiel. I don’t bother with the 1 minute after call. That was before. Now I make use of everything. I can’t accept it that there was this day when I took in 33 calls and did my best in each and because I had my AHT at only 12 minutes, I failed in that metric.

Nagpapagod ka na nga, kumakayod ng todo, babagsak ka pa. Parang mali ang equation. Mali talaga.

But then that is their decision. That is what they want. Who am I to question? Who am I to ask? I am but a small voice. A simple agent whom I’ve discovered they don’t give a damn about.

Post Script:

Well the day ended well. All’s well that ends well. I got an interview for the QA Apprenticeship so it seems that I actually got endorsed. And my sup was indignant that my schedule got swapped so he rectified it even though he had to go through a lot of channels since India had plotted the sched already. Oh well. Guess the day ended fine after all.

One moment of irresponsibility. A lifetime to pay for it.

And so I hold my tears up. I just sniff and try my best not to cry; feign a convincible cheerful voice to my customer and do my best in my calls again.

Nagpapagod ka na nga, kumakayod ng todo, babagsak ka pa. Parang mali ang equation. Mali talaga.

But then that is their decision. That is what they want. Who am I to question? Who am I to ask? I am but a small voice. A simple agent whom I’ve discovered they don’t give a damn about.

Post Script:

can’t help but write

Ganito pala talaga siguro pag writer ka. Or feeling writer. Hindi mo mapigil and iyong sarili magsulat. Parang bawat ideya na dumampi sa iyong utak kailangan mong masulat. Di kaya baka tuluyan na nitong lisanin ang iyong isipan.

In any case I am now writing using the basic and primitive resources for any writer – a pen and paper. Sad to say I am at no liberty ot use my preferred means – the computer. I am now at work and eventhough I have access to the PC, there is no means for me to publish what I write using it. So I have to contend with this.

And speaking of computers, my mother’s observation was right when she noticed that 90% of my waking moments are spent in front of the computer. My work requires me to be in front of the computer all the time and when I get home, I still choose to be in front of the computer writing my blogs!

Yet nothing gives me more joy than to write; to see people reading what I’ve written and reacting to it – either in agreement or disagreement.

When I told a co-worker that I’d be resigning because I find my job boring, repetitive and non-challenging, he said, that all jobs in due time become as such.

I beg to disagree. I believe writing as a job will never be boring nor repetitive nor non-challenging. Not unless you write obituaries for a newspaper. But then I believe that there are jobs out there which are not boring or repetitive or non-challenging no matter how many times or eras you do them.

Do you think the hosts of NatGeo documentaries or Discovery Channel Travel shows ever become bored with their jobs? Do you think journalists or international correspondents ever become unchallenged by what they do or find their tasks repetitive?

Point is: There are jobs out there which will constantly challenge you, push you to the edge and require you to constantly change and improve yourself for the better.

And its those jobs that I long to do. I long to have. Some may think I’m crazy. I already have a job that in all respects is easy and does not require too much of me. I go to work, take calls, go home and that’s it. What more could I ask for?

But then I do long for more. I am not made or cut-out for jobs such as this. There are people who appreciate the "static-ness" of it all but I’m not one of them.

I know God made all of use unique and gave each one of us a niche in this world. To go against that plan or to reside in a niche not for you will eventually end up in disappointment, dissatisfaction and disillusionment.

I yearn to find my niche and live life to its fullest!

Post script: Ang hirap pala i-type ang naisulat na. Di na ako sanay. At parang iba din ang writing style. O imagination ko lang un?

regularization !?!?

I signed my regularization papers today. For all my talk about boredom, disillusionment and dissatisfaction I still managed to last 6 months in the job enough to be regularized. And it wasn’t a bad 6 months because I managed to earn a score that would allow me a 15% salary increase – not the maximum increase possible though.

When I saw the paper, and the amount of my increase, I was tempted not to sign it. I couldn’t bear in my heart to accept what was written. My eyes had tears – not of delight but of disappointment. I remember the time when I was almost finished with school; I told my roommates that when I apply for a job I would not settle for a gross salary less than Php15, 000. Well I was idealistic then and I was in Manila. I believed that I was worth that much and I could earn that much. (How ironic when I had already experienced a work where I could earn a monthly way, way higher than Php15K. But that is another story.)

Things and circumstances have changed then. I am now working in the provinces, in a job that is supposedly high-paying but is actually not, and with a salary that even with the 15% increase would still take about 2 months to become Php15K. A far cry from my expectations right?

Of course I don’t really mind the small salary (most of the times) because I’m living with my parents and as such I have no solid obligations like rent and lodging, unlike when I was living independently back in my college days. My only obligations now are the DSL bill and the wants of my siblings, the latter of which is optional, subject to my goodwill. But one always have a sort of life one wants to lead and time will come when I will venture out in the world once more – again an independent soul. When that time comes I’m afraid my salary may not be at par.

My mom reprimanded me for having such high expectations. I should have lowered my expectations in life and in work so as not to be gravely disappointed. A friend also told me that I am too idealistic and have too high expectations of things and that I should change that – be more pragmatic and lower my expectations in life. I countered, “So I should lower my standards then.” He said not the standards, just the expectations. But aren’t they the same? Don’t you have high expectations because you have high standards? One of the things I’ve learned in life is one should expect the best of a person always, so that one would live up to that expectation and thus perform at his best. Doesn’t that translate to life or situations as well?

I do not deny that I have high expectations for myself and my life. Just as I have high hopes and dreams. I do not want to settle for something less than that. I know my capacity and what I can do or achieve. I cannot rest if I know that I am not fully taking advantage of what I have or who I am. I will forever yearn to make the most of myself always. I cannot settle for mediocrity.

Now do you blame me for resigning from this job when everyone seems to be telling me to stay put for practicality’s sake? If I stay, say another 6 months, I believe that by then I would have been reduced to mediocrity. All the fire within me will have been extinguished and I may be reduced to living a sub-standard life with no passion or flame or desire for the stars.

I will not let that happen.

roller coaster ride

funny how work could really interfere with quality family time. funny how i sacrificed a lot to be near my family, yet still be near them then begin to be quite far. today my family went to cwc without me. they simply dropped me off work and proceeded to the place. not that i am really complaining. i knew my responsibilities. yet i also felt some sort of sadness at the missed moment.

funny how life could be such a roller coaster sometime. yesterday i was crying over a failed audit, today i received a commendation from a customer. and i just educated her about her mcafee. it was unexpected, of course, as most commendations are. and also it was a nice lift from a downtime feeling. but then, since i knew that commendations are really nothing more than morale boosters, and since i am such a competitive freak, i know that deep down what would boost my morale are metrics that would make me top agent and earn me promotions and appliance rewards. i know that i am not after high metrics for recognition. i am after high metrics for higher salary pay. talk about being mukhang pera.

this shift has also been a really tiring one for me. i felt like I’ve handled a thousand calls when in fact I’ve only answered 27 calls. but still, it is more than the usual. it just seems that most Americans are now finding it real cute to call technical support. well good for us because that entails more jobs.

whew. tiredness creeps in. sleep beckons.

i got his number. but the infatuation has really passed. he is just a friend to me now. a very convenient friend to have in this crazy industry.

failing an audit

Frustrations setting in. headache pending. Tears threatening to spill. All because of one audit.

I hate this. I hate that I am this affected by one silly failed audit. Back when I was studying, it was OK to fail. I could deal with it. I’ve failed perhaps a hundred times and I’ve survived. I’ve been to the worst possible failure scenarios and I’m still alive. But I guess when you’re working, failing does not seem like an option – not if you have a goal with a deadline. Not if your goal is connected to your survival – literal survival.

I have always been competitive but it is a competition that I set against myself. Human nature would inevitably dictate me to compare myself to others but common sense would prevail and would compel me to simply put myself up against myself. I am my own worst enemy and my toughest competitor.

Sigh. This really gets frustrating that I don’t even know where to begin expressing myself. Before actually placing these emotions and thoughts into writing, I must have had composed a dozen articles about the issue already. And this article is already a new one being composed real time.

The experience made me re-evaluate my goals and even the reason for my existence – what on earth am I here for? Which further emphasized my spiritual dryness – an inevitable thing I know I would need to face one of these days. The experience made me mad at a customer even though the call has long been over – who was she to say she wanted to talk to somebody else who could understand her? F*** she was really speaking fast! And much as I tried to ask her to please repeat she would be so impatient! Thinking back I would have loved to be a smart-ass and tell her, “oh sure go ahead and talk to somebody else. Hang-up now and call back, that would greatly save my AHT!”

*sigh* too much pent up emotions, I could see that now. What has this industry done to me? Is it now eating me alive? I am so bent up trying to perform well. No body sees this but me. No body knows this but me. And who is suffering but me. Why can’t I ever relax? I try to appear calm and nonchalant about everything but deep down I know I worry too much. I compete too much. I pressure myself too much. I’ve always been this wreck. College has removed that I know. Failing so many times in a course I knew wasn’t right for me but which I stubbornly stuck too did that to me.

I couldn’t show my face to my QA today. I was so ashamed of myself for failing. She must have thought I was pissed off at her. Little did she knew I was pissed off at myself.

I do my best in each call. Believe me I do. I’ve even went so far as to start recording in my planner my daily AHT. To be more proactive in watching my AHT status. Now I know I would have to watch my call flow, my adherence to QA advisories. And of course not to mention the all so important OARE/ORE, simply put CSAT or customer satisfaction.

I hope to get out of this loop in 6 months. But for now I must find the courage to enjoy this. To love it. To embrace it. I must find something worthy in it.

And I must learn to chill down.