Tag: life

Want to change your life? Change your connections.

Are you stuck with a bad life? Do you want to change your life? Change your connections. Hang out with a better crowd. Your connections determine your story.

Do you believe that the people you surround yourself with will determine the course of your life? Look around. You will see people grouped together by status, interests, activities, and many other criteria. As a civilization, we congregate towards people who share our own beliefs, aspirations, desires, and wants.

Your Connections Determine Who We Are

I’m not talking about the family or community you’re born with. That’s out of your control. You can be born rich or poor. It’s not your fault.

BUT where you go from there is entirely up to you.

From the moment we can be free of our parents, we are the ones making our choices about the people we surround ourselves with. Do we associate with the good crowd or the bad one? Do we surround ourselves with inspiring & positive influence or the opposite?

We are the ones who shape our own character. We can be born into a bad community, but it’s still our choice to get out of it and form new connections that will change our story.

Your Connections Determine Your Story

How our lives will unfold is highly dependent on the crowd we belong to.

Be associated with ambitious and goal-driven people. Pretty soon, you’ll start realizing your own dreams. Surround yourself with lazy and mediocre individuals; and soon, you’ll lose your passion and be content with whatever life throws at you.

Let’s check ourselves. Are we connecting with the people who will bring us a better life?

Change Your Connections. Change Your Life.

If you think the people around you are pulling you down, then go ahead and change them. You don’t have to be stuck with the set of people you have now. We live in a globally interconnected world.

Want to be a programmer? Connect with them on social media. Want to be entrepreneurial? Connect with business-minded people.

You don’t have to be stuck in a bad life just because your surroundings are bad. You can change that.

Walk with the wise and become wise. Associate with fools and get in trouble.

Proverbs 13:2-
change your life change your connections proverbs 13:20
Image by the Author | Made with Canva

Death: A New Beginning

The year has barely began and here I am talking about endings. In particular, a very permanent ending – at least here, on this planet.

I do not mean to sound morbid but I am talking about death – the cessation of life. When one’s heart stops beating and the brain stops functioning. When all body systems simply stop functioning. Death.

2015 ended with the father of a close friend dying unexpectedly. 2016 opened with a close friend dying peacefully. And the month will close with another friend dying bravely.

It seems death has been all around me recently but it’s not the kind of deaths that will leave you depressed. Yes, death, being so final, is sad. Yes, there’s grief and I join the families and friends of these people whom I know in their grief. Yet, behind the grief, there’s hope that these people are in a better place.

I have never shied away from the topic of death. I believe this blog has so many posts concerning the topic. For me, death is not the end but just the beginning. The beginning of something greater. Something bigger. Something better.

The life we live on earth is only temporary. But no matter how temporary, it is meant to be lived to the fullest. These people who died all lived their lives to the full and I am blessed to have witnessed their lives and somehow been a part of it.

It’s inspiring to see how these people – Sir D, Tita Eva and Scud – have lived their lives to such a full that when they died, people flocked to them remembering everything they have accomplished. People shared stories of how they have been touched one way or another by the acts of these wonderful persons. And everyone, despite the sadness and pain of loss, had peace in their hearts because they knew and are confident that these three are now reaping their rewards in Heaven.

Someone recently shared to me her fears of death – about what lies ahead and what she’ll face when she dies. If there’s something we shouldn’t have to fear – that’s death. Death is not something we should be afraid of. We can be afraid of what will happen to our dependents when we die (hence we should be serious about our financial plans) but we should not be afraid of our deaths. Not if we know where we are going when we die and what lies ahead for us.

Not sure what happens after you die? The Bible is very clear that because we are sinners, when we die, we are destined for only one place – Hell. That’s the bad news. But it doesn’t end there. The good news is, because God loves us so much, He can’t take it that we would spend eternity in Hell. So He sent His Son, Jesus, to redeem us from our sins. Jesus paid the price for our sins. Hell, which is supposed to be our eternal punishment for every wrong thing we did here on earth, is no longer our destination. When we die, we can now go to Heaven and receive eternal life.

I said “we CAN” because there’s still something required of us. We are required to accept Jesus as our personal Lord and Savior. It’s a personal thing only we can do. It’s not something we inherit from our parents, it’s not something our religion can do for us, it’s not a decision someone else can impose on us. It’s a choice we have to make and a personal relationship we have to cultivate with our Maker.

So you see, Death is not the end. It’s the beginning. It’s the time when we will reunite with our Father in Heaven.

As Paul said, “For me to live is Christ and to die is gain.” (Philippians 1:21)

it is better to love and lost than not to love at all

During my quiet moments (which can be quite a lot), I tend to think about whether it would be best to avoid a life that may lead to regret or to live a life even though you may probably regret it in the end. Vague statement, I know, but it can be clarified without exposing too much.

 

Suppose you love somebody else, or maybe you haven’t really found the person you could spend your entire life with, but then you are afraid to grow old alone or have your reproductive years pass you by, would you settle for second best – that is learn to love and marry someone just so you could have someone to grow old with and a family to show for it?

 

You would probably say yes. After all, who knows what could happen in the future, right? For all we know, you could end up happily married with the person you married turning out to be your true love even if in the beginning he or she wasn’t who you imagined.

 

But what if the other scenario happens? What if, after years of marriage, you find out that despite the fact that you love your kids and you’ve loved your wife or husband, it just isn’t enough. That you know there is something else out there. That contentment forever eludes you. That you feel you cannot bear to think of growing old with your partner. Worst, what if the love of your life came along. Late but at least he or she came. What would you do? Would you pursue that love, the one you know and feel would bring you happiness (the heart and the mind says so) or would you remain in the loveless marriage which has soured over the years?

 

I guess, you would again answer – pursue what would make you happy. Even if life seems to have been cruel in the end, bringing your true love at a time when all seemed lost and too late, still there had been happy years – memories worthwhile. So you may argue that life had not been wasted after all.

 

But wouldn’t it be so much better had you been entirely sure in the beginning that this is it. That he or she is the one. Wouldn’t that have saved all the trouble? Again, you may argue, how would you know if you wouldn’t give it a try?

 

I guess I wouldn’t. But then that is why I have made guidelines for myself. They are not harsh guidelines. I do not require some perfect guy. But I do have standards. Crazy, some may say. Some may even argue that my outlook would end up with me not finding anyone. Believe me, I have been admonished a thousand times.

 

Yet, I can’t help but think that I would rather face the perspective of growing old alone than lead an unhappy married life that I am bound to regret later. Or make reckless decisions that would cause me pain. I know life is not life if there is no pain and hurts but I also know that there is a way to avoid so much pain that one cannot bear. Then again, I will never be alone. I know I won’t.

 

But enough of this silly chatter. I still have years ahead of me. And I am confident he will find me. I am sure He will make certain of it.

 

***

My apologies for the title. I know it is the exact opposite of the view I had just expressed. I guess when I was thinking of a title, the suggestion that popped to mind was an admonition.

randomly writing something

This post will be another random post. By random I mean I will just write as the mind dictates; as the thoughts flow. More often than not, my entries are articles I’ve longed thought of. By that I mean that I was not in front of the computer or a writing material when I thought about them or when inspiration struck. Usually I’m inspired to write when I’m riding a moving vehicle, staring out its window and noticing the world speeding by. I notice a lot of things, realize a lot of things and is inspired to write about a lot of things. The words even form themselves in my mind.

But when I actually sit down to write, the words somehow slip, like soap suds across a wet body. And I can write no more. I can only hope to catch glimpse and pieces of the fragments of the thoughts that so plagued my mind. 

Sigh. He will be gone for a complete four days. Gone from my solar system. I will be hearing nothing from him just when I managed to get the phone fixed and my day-off fixed so we could talk, he decided to make a trip somewhere. Not that I blame him. I mean, heck, he has every right to do that. And now he made an implicit request for me not to contact him. Apparently his girlfriend may get the wrong idea. Tsk. When I have a boyfriend will I be like that? Selosa. I hope not. I honest to goodness hope that my boyfriend will be trustworthy enough that I will have no qualms about him having close relationships with other girls and believing his word for it that they are just friends.

Well moving on. I cannot fathom why I have all the energy in the world today when just some hours ago, when I needed the energy while I was at work, I was listless as a limp fish. I practically slept during my calls! Good thing I have people to talk to at work, apart from the customers on the other end of the line, that had kept me awake. 

And since I have this energy boost, I might as well write about the things I’ve discovered and realized which I know I will be expanding in articles that are not random posts. By that, articles I have thought of and edited and mulled over.

  1. I have realized that I have been viewing life like a box of very bitter chocolates, by that I mean problems. As of late my memories are all tainted with my misgivings about life – my work usually. Now, I happened to go across this blog about a dying person’s attempt to chronicle the last days of his life and give inspiration to others, well it inspired me – a fully alive and healthy individual. I mean if this person can see optimism in life despite his circumstance then what about me? And as such, I am led to think about my current spiritual state. I lament that I am still unable to shape some sense into it when I know that the happiest and most fulfilled days of my life were days spent with Him. Yes, they were not free from problems but also despite the odds, I was still at peace and the satisfaction I felt was beyond understanding. I miss those days. I long to be back in His arms. 
  2. I have managed to form the most unusual friendships. And I am immensely thankful for that. Who would imagine that friendship is indeed possible between a guy and girl miles apart, have never met each other, sort of share a “history” and whose acquaintance is frowned upon by their mutual friends? Who would believe indeed? But then again it is possible. Possible to the point that lines can be clearly drawn, discussed and adhered to; even referred back to when needed. Possible to the point that there are no inhibitions as to the topics shared – topics pertaining to anything under the sun; ANYTHING. He said he now treats me as a little sister, well I am glad. I honestly hope I have found a brother in him.

Oh well, that’s it. My train of thoughts shifted so that I think I will be writing separate articles now for each of them. Oh well.

The mind after all makes processes so much faster than what hands or words can ever accommodate. I simply marvel at the sheer capacity of the mind.

random thoughts on dreams

Sigh.

I guess all of us have our own dreams and ambitions in life but when we grow up we realize that the dreams of childhood are more complicated to achieve than what we were led to believe. I mean I know that in each and everyone of us there is a kid who still wishes he grew up to be an astronaut, an astronomer, a doctor, a lawyer, a scientist, a broadcaster, a soldier, a teacher, a businessman, etc.

Yet when we got to face the world, we realized that we had responsibilities to attend to, that life was not as good as we thought it was, that opportunities were not as many as we expected them to be and that everything is so damned complicated than what we initially imagined. So in the end we are forced to relegate this dreams to a place in our head called Neverland, and we are forced to face life, with resignation in our faces and the steeled determination to accept whatever it throws us just so we could survive.

The few who dare to brave the odds and pursue their dreams either succeed (if they really put their whole hearts into it) or fail (if they are along the way, dissuaded from their cause). And for us who are now in this crossroad, we are left wondering whether we become one of the brave ones or we stick to the safe path of practicality.

Indeed it is a complicated life that we are in. Much complicated than what we have been led to believe in when we were just kids, innocent of the atrocities of the world and full of hope for a bright future.

Note: This was part of my e-mail to a friend at work when we were discussing what we wanted to become instead of TSRs.

Writer’s Block

There are moments when all neurons die down and much as we want to orchestrate something, to provide opinion about something, to think about something or to simply do something (with our minds), we can’t.

We are at a lost what to do, what to say, what to think. We scream internally at the seemingly lack of activity. No neural pathways being created. Nothing.

I know now what drives Sherlock Holmes mad. I now know what leads him to inject cocaine and any other stimulant up his nerves. This inactivity is draining me. It is driving me mad. It is making me lose all sensibilities. All practical sensibilities.

In the recent town hall meeting, the country manager said, THIS is not our life. THIS SHOULDN’T be our life. I do my best to have a life apart from this. But I guess if one is just starting, the totally new environment of this industry takes some getting used to.

If four hours sleep at night is enough to get me going through the day, four hours sleep in daytime will leave me groggy throughout the night – not to mention that I’ll be experiencing dizzy spells and all that. Somehow, being a night owl – for months on end – really zaps out the life in you.

The life I want is pretty simple. Read books. Write articles. Watch movies. And if asked if I get to do any of them, I must say, that it is only the second item that I really get to do. And that is I get to do it rather sparingly or I have to fight limb and foot to get any writing done.

Sometimes, I whine that I do not really get to write as much as I want; that there are a thousand ideas in my head which I don’t get to write about. Good thing I discovered that there is indeed a way for me to redeem the avail time at work to get some writing done. Maybe later, I will be able to discover a way to get some reading done. And at least, I would be living my life.

**Note: This was written during avail time. Haha! I rejoice at having discovered how I can generate articles after articles for my blog.

On Dreams and Regrets

I am a dreamer. I guess like everybody else, I dream of being rich and famous; of travelling to exotic locations in the world; of having my own mansion with my own majestic view of the valley and my own swimming pool. I do have days when I like day-dreaming of things that does not hold a hint of seriousness for me in the sense that they are not really part of the goals I want to achieve. Or in other words, they are impossible for me, since for me, they are just that – dreams. I also have days wherein I dream of things I do want to achieve such as a fulfilling job, a loving husband and well-raised kids. These are my goals in life which I would further break down into details in terms of short, mid and long term goals. Now these are the kind of dreams that I know are possible because I will make them not just dreams but reality as well.

Then there are those days when I dream of what could have been; when I think of past events in my life wherein a different outcome would have happened had I made a different decision or did a different thing. I guess we all have our moments when we think about the what if’s in life. What if I didn’t go to that school and pursued the kind of education I have now? What if I didn’t lend that so large a sum to that person and instead have invested the money some other way? What if I remained in my own social niche and pursued something else instead of totally uprooting my life to pursue what I am doing now? What if I had taken that offer to go to this place? This company? This country? this university? There are days when we dream of all the what if’s of life.

I think it is alright to dream of the what if’s. To dwell on them, I believe is a different matter entirely. Dwelling too much on the what if’s of life makes us wish that it was that other option we’ve taken or that other decision we’ve made. It makes us wish for it so hard that we become unhappy with the choice that we have now. And this is what we now call regret.

Regret, I believe, is a normal part of life. It is normal for any sane individual to have regrets in life and I believe this is something that we cannot really avoid. I think that without regret, we won’t learn any lessons and we won’t improve as a person. There are indeed times when the other decision would have really been better; when the grass is really greener on the other side of where we’re at. At this point, if we regret the decision we’ve made that led us to the not so green side of the grass, then we can learn from the experience so that the next time around, we would know how to distinguish which grass is indeed greener.

Then again, after we’ve learned the lesson that led to us having regrets, then it is thus befitting that we live with the decision we’ve made or the path we’ve taken. The grass in the other side may indeed be greener, but who said that we cannot make the grass where we’re at as green or if not even greener than the other side. It all boils down then to what we do with the decision we made – whether we decide to live by it and do the best we can to make the most of it or if we forever wallow in regret and wishful longing of what could have been thereby forgoing the actual choice we made.

I know this is a hard truth to swallow. I have my own bagful of regrets I could share. I admit I have my own moments wherein I wished I could have done something else, decided something else, said something else, tried something else. But then at the end of the day, the ultimate loser will be ourselves if we let our minds wallow in self-pity over what could have been; if we stressed ourselves over what we could have done.

Bottomline is: let’s just simply make the best of what we have now, learn from the reason why we are having regrets over this one, and do our best the next time around. J I know it’s better said than done but we could at least try.