now that graduation rites are just around the bend, and final thesis manuscript submissions as well as other clearance requirements are less than a month away, i am getting jitters and series of what if questions.
what if i don’t make it? what if my thesis, at the very last instant, didn’t pass the director’s standards? what if i simply forgo everything and no longer pursue that piece of paper which would prove my having finished a degree in a state university?
what if i was never really meant to finish this course? what if i was meant to pursue something else? my sister did told me quite recently that i could always take up another degree – one more inclined to my actual interest.
what if i i was never meant to graduate? horrific!
my mom said i should make the promise of a promotion my motivation. but looking around the company, a lot have been promoted irregardless of whether they finished a degree or not – it all boiled down to performance.
now my only motivation is that “nakakahinayang” because i went through all those years of hardships – and for what? well the learning is one thing. i did learned a lot.
i have learned quite recently not to be distraught at the thought that i might have wasted years upon years studying a course i would never use. i have learned to look beyond my education. to focus more on what the experience has brought me. and i learned to be grateful and thankful for them.
and now, i am learning not to be too stressed out over this graduation jitters.
i would make it. i honest to goodness hope so.
so now, i must do what i am suppose to do. and that is edit that *sigh* thesis.
