Perhaps he is not. Perhaps he is.
Reading along, I discovered that there really is no single THE ONE when it comes to marriage. There are a potential of different combinations of people who I will have to make the decision to love and spend the rest of my life with.
It all started our surreal. I never knew he was the one I liked or never even imagined he would like me. We were just too far apart. But as he started to show his interest, and I was just politely interested at first, things started to unfold.
It was beautiful. I found out that we actually had a lot in common and that I actually enjoyed his company. I sought confirmation from God time and time again and to my knowledge, God confirmed that what we have – that what was going on – is right. Having people around us that supports and are excited for us also seemed to edge us to be closer – to eventually cinch the deal.
But there was also a lot of wisdom going around. How we should keep knowing each other well. How we should take things slow. In my case, I can feel the Holy Spirit nudging me to develop self-control – and aspect I apparently lack a lot of.
Things get complicated when people tell you not to spend time alone together. I think this is defeatist. For how can we know each other better if we don’t spend time alone together? Are we doomed to speaking alone within the chat room or text messages? How can we evaluate the rapport we have with each other if we don’t spend time alone?
The enemy is always waiting for a chance to attack. Yep. Sneaky little devil. But pretending that we can know everything about each other in the company of friends is I think a misnomer. Yes, I told him I am sure about him. But there is now this deep seated feeling in me that before I do answer him with a resounding yes, I want to spend time getting to know him – alone and in person.
But let us enumerate the reasons why I like him.
First, he is really humble. He is quick to admit to his flaws and is open to rebuke. I sense that we won’t have that many arguments together because we both know how to humble ourselves with each other and to admit our faults and forgive.
Second, I feel natural and comfortable with him. There is no pretense that I have to pretend to be rich, or smart, or classy or even take too much pains to be beautiful. I know he accepts me for me – smelly, unpretty, fat, lousy, lazy and all. Of course I would always want to be the best for him but I don’t feel that pressure to be anyone I am not.
Third, I know he is responsible. He has enough control of which I have seen and I am actually at fault for making everything hard for him. He also has the future in mind and is very thrifty and frugal in order to save enough for life ahead. I know he can make a living for he is not afraid to take on whatever work is there in order to survive. And now he is committed to improving his life and his future.
It just makes everything so hard and complicated because I feel that so many people are watching us — looking at the steps we make. So we have to be on our toes all the time and be wary how our lives are turning out to be a testimony. We can’t be showy because we are not even an item. I am not even sure if I should say YES right away for many would view it as too soon.
