some light inside the dark tunnel

Enlightenment. That was what I somehow felt after reading the Metro article. I’m not even sure who the author was or what edition of Metro magazine it was (I think it was this month’s issue). I was in a hurry reading it as my session in the parlor (I had a manicure – which was sort of therapeutic for me) had almost ended and my mom was already impatiently waiting for me. I perused the article whose title captivated me. I perused it because I could relate to it.

 

The article talked about quarter life crisis. If we have midlife crisis, it has been discovered that there is also quarter life crisis. This struck young adults as they leave the world of schools and immaturity and enter the world of adulthood and serious responsibility.  Of course no one would admit that they were immature when they were in college, not unless one realizes it later on. I, for one, like to think that I have been very mature when I was in high school and in college although when I look back at those times now, I realize my pettiness in the decisions I made.

 

Yet this quarter life crisis apparently is a serious one for it deals with questions of self worth; of dreams and reality; of self-fulfillment and practicality. How many times have I constantly asked myself whether I was doing the right thing or not? Whether I was simply wasting time in this job of mine or not? Whether I really want to pursue my dream or not? How many times have I tried to look into my future and found my current life misaligned to it or wanting? These are the symptoms of a quarter life crisis.

 

This is the period of indecision and vagueness; discontentment and disillusionment that plagues us (or me) after we’ve left college and start out in our first jobs. Some manage to find the courage to try the other fence; to jump and take some sort of leap of faith into the unknown – only to realize practicality still wins out in the end. Some never take the leap; never crosses the fence and forever live life with the constant nagging feeling of what if.

 

It is still my choice how I will go about this crisis. How I will weather out this insane period of life. I chose to leap. I chose to take the risk. I know that I will probably end up in the same job, eating my own words but still eating my own words is much better than constantly being nagged by what if’s.

 

The author of the article was stuck in a job she despised. She sought to get out of it by pursuing a graduate degree in Creative Writing in order to pursue her dream of being a writer. She eventually got an offer to write for a big networking company, which she took only to quit after 4 days. She eventually returned to her old job. But this time she had new priorities. She managed to finally separate work from life and distinguished the boundaries between working to live a life and not letting work be your life. She ended up much happier after the ordeal even though she never really gets to be the writer she wanted to be. In the end she concludes that worrying and trying to plan for the future is too much work to do at the present and that in the quarter life crisis that we undergo we should eventually learn that it’s about moving on to the adult world – of responsibilities and dire reality – with as much grace as possible as we can.

 

And her final words were – “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.” I guess I’ll be just fine – whatever path I choose to take.