Shocking Discover About Nancy Drew!

Today, I learned, for the first time in my life, that Carolyn Keene, the author behind Nancy Drew was actually a false person. The author doesn’t exist! Nancy Drew was written by a bunch of ghost writers. And not just Nancy Drew – probably the entire series of books of my growing up years aka Sweet Valley, Hardy Boys (though I don’t really read them).

Apparently, in the early 1900s, it was a popular scheme where publishers will hire freelance writers to write children book series for them – paying them off per work and removing their authorship rights. The Stratemeyer Syndicate was well noted for this kind of publishing scheme and it was their founder, Edward Stratemeyer who created the concept of Nancy Drew and assigned her to one of his ghost writers – Mildred Augustine Wert Benson who went on and wrote 23 of the first 30 Nancy Drew books. Benson eventually went on with her career to write other books under her name and pursue a gratifying career in journalism. It was only in her later years that it was revealed she was the original Carolyn Keene. Stratemeyer carefully guarded the identities of their writers to preserve the air of mystery around the authors.

But despite this shock – and how I feel like my entire childhood was a lie! – I still will say I love the Nancy Drew and the Sweet Valley series. These books became instrumental to my growing interest for books and my love for reading. I loved reading about the adventures of Nancy Drew that later on, I even embarked on a mission of collecting original prints – those that really look old. I would hunt for the copies in old bookstands along the market and won’t hesitate to buy one even if I’d read it just because I wanted to collect them.

Eventually I outgrew Nancy Drew and Sweet Valley but I never outgrew my love for reading. And I owe it to the brilliant authors – or ghost writers – behind these famous series.

Books : Forever My Love

From musicals, I now turn my musings to books. (This lockdown is really doing wonders to me indulging in all my introverted hobbies).

I never imagined I would be a voracious reader. I learned to read rather late – I was about 7 1/2 years old and I was still struggling with comprehending words written on paper. I cannot forget that embarrassing moment in First Grade when our teacher asked us to form two lines – one line for those who knew how to read and another line for those who don’t. I sheepishly joined the latter.

My mother was instrumental in teaching me how to read. I didn’t learn reading from school. I learned it from her. I can remember how she will hold a children’s book and force me to read over and over again the story of Too Thin Johnny. I cried a lot during those long afternoons. I longed to be outside playing with my siblings but I was stuck – by our doorframe – sitting there reading with her.

And thus it came as a surprise to me that, once I learned how to read and when I discovered the wonderful world of the library I was transfixed. I was a regular in the library, borrowing books weekly – sometimes twice a week. I couldn’t get enough of what the library has to offer.

I was 10 years old then. I read Nancy Drew, Sweet Valley and even Hardy Boys – all fascinating popular books of my time.

As I grew older, I began reading other genres of books and since I cannot afford my own books, I borrowed from a book rental store. I discovered the world of Sydney Sheldon, Anne Rice, Danielle Steele and their contemporaries. I was in high school at that time and I recall bringing a book (or two) with me to read every time I travel back to my dorm. I also began to discover classics like Emily Bronte, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, etc. and derive as much pleasure from them as contemporary authors.

Fast forward, I discovered bookstores where I can buy books for half (or even a quarter) of their usual price and so I splurged. Where others splurge on clothes or bags or shoes, I splurged on books. I bought more books than I could possibly read but I do not regret every single one of them.

Along the years, I lost books I lent but I also didn’t regret them. I stored books in storage places as my physical storehouses shrink. I can simply wonder if the pages are still alive to this day.

But with technology, I discovered e-books. And my love for reading remain constant.

Now that there is community wide quarantine and we are forced to spend eons of time inside our homes with nothing much to do, I find myself enjoying the company of e-books. I rediscover – to my amusement – that I actually enjoyed them more than watching series (which I also delve into with gusto).

There’s just something about how the words leap before my imagination. How a novel that takes me 5 hours to read is more engaging than a 2 hour movie. And I love how well researched novels actually allow me a glimpse into history, politics, ethics, culture, and so much more that even after reading it, I am led to researching the actual events that transpired.

I used to believe I will be a writer. I loved reading so much so I thought it was a natural course. But alas! I cannot stay introverted – trapped in my imaginations – for long. As life went by, I found myself interacting with society more than I ever want (to be honest) and time seems to fly without me ever finding the opportunity to sit down long enough to even come up with a decent chapter. Believe me, I’ve tried.

But, there’s always a first time for everything. And who knows. They say this lockdown will last and extend. I honestly wish it would end so we can go back to the normal daily routine of life (even if that will totally change) but if this extends, I know what I will be doing next.

Revisiting Musicals

Last night I was very fortunate to watch the 25th celebration of “Phantom of the Opera” at the Royal Albert Hall. It’s available for free in YouTube until April 19 Sunday 11PM PT. Here’s the link below but that will expire very soon.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nINQjT7Zr9w&feature=youtu.be

 

I have been privy to theater musicals since I entered college and the whole UP Theater opened my eyes to this wonderful form of entertainment. In college, my very first dorm roommate was a Theater major and she influenced me to watch college plays. I had my share of plays in elementary and high school but they were very sparse and not as grand as college plays.

It was in 2004 when I first became acquainted with “The Phantom of the Opera”. It was a motion picture at that time and the musical score enthralled me. I longed to watch the theater version but it rarely got produced in the Philippines. Some years ago, there was a production and I eagerly looked for the tickets. To my dismay, it costs a fortune. Even if I were to sit at the very back (which wouldn’t be very ideal for my tastes), I would have to cough up a significant amount. It was simply a luxury for me.

And so I contented myself with just knowing the songs to the play and hoping that someday I will have enough excess cash for luxuries such as theater.

To my surprise and delight, because of the COVID lockdown, the producers decided that for a limited time they will stream in You Tube for free the 25th Anniversary production done in 2011. I couldn’t wait to watch it! Of course they were raising funds for COVID so any donation would be much appreciated.

As I watched, my eyes and ears were tingling. I can finally watch – even if in a screen – how the play would unfold on-stage. It’s very different from a motion picture.

As I expected, I knew all the songs and as soon as the first notes were hit, my spine was tingling. I was literally kinikilig just listening to the songs. I sang along in silence – no sound coming from my mouth – for I fear my voice will mix in with the beauty of the actors. I absorbed every movement, every stage effects, ever musical score. I beamed with pride when certain acts finished and I clapped along with the live audience.

How I wish I could really watch it for real in a theater.

I could imagine myself – dressed in a formal gown apt for a theater production as this – sitting in a respectable sit and being fully immersed in the beauty of theater.

Because I was such an avid fan of theater back in college, I even took an elective in Theater intended for non-Theater majors. Alas! Acting simply wasn’t for me. A renowned director/ professor handled our class and I was surprised at the brutality of theater life. I cried many nights and trembled many days because when I failed dismally at acting – he would curse me and shout at me in front of the class. I could never forget it how he sent me out of the room so I can practice “laughing”.

But it was a nice experience – one that I was glad for. We actually staged a play at the end of the semester and I proudly invited my friends over. It was a small play but we proudly carried it on as a class and our professor couldn’t be prouder for us. But that was the last time I tried acting. I realized I can be a good voice actor (I read lines pretty well) but I can never really act in front of an audience or a camera. I feel unnatural. Just put me behind the scene in production and I am sure I would flourish.

The Phantom of the Opera You Tube stream lasted for close to 3 hours. There was a short intermission in the middle – true to theater fashion. And at the end, Andrew Lloyd Webber went out and gave a speech. He honored everyone including the original casts of whom were invited on-stage. I was glad to meet the original Phantom (Michael Crawford) and the original Christine (Sarah Brightman). Sarah Brightman even indulged the audience with a rendition of the song Phantom of the Opera sang with some of the actors who played Phantom over the years. And then the Phantoms also sang for the audience the famous song Angel of Music.

It was a great show and I was near tears as it ended. And to relive it I downloaded the playlist from Spotify.

 

And I didn’t end there. I found my mind wandering to other great musicals I learned over the years.

Musicals like Miss Saigon and Evita. I hastily downloaded their Spotify Playlists and found, to my delight, I can actually sing along with the songs. It’s as if there were no years since I last sang them.

I guess, when you really like musicals, they never leave your memory. With each song I sang, I can remember how the scenes played out in my mind.

Such is the wonder and the power of musicals.

The Burden of Decisions

Who would have thought that in one’s lifetime a pandemic as severe as this would occur? I never imagined that the time would come when my life would come a grinding halt. And a sudden and shocking one at that.

Over the weekend, I lost my daily routine of going to the office and going to church on weekends. I was optimistic at first, naively I thought they couldn’t halt businesses. The economy would suffer. How will people buy food, etc? But then the unimaginable happened.

Businesses closed. As the country’s biggest malls closed their doors, so did hundreds of businesses and offices. Restaurants were limited to take outs and deliveries. People were forced to stay inside their homes. Regardless if you will have sustained income to last you a month indoors.

It was a good thing that flow of basic goods remained unhampered. Local governments scrambled to implement guidelines and policies such as quarantine passes, market day schedules and the like.

I thought the month long lockdown (technically called enhanced community quarantine) will not last a month. Again, naively, I thought it will be over before the month is up. But as the days progressed, and the cases rose, the government had to choice but to continue the lockdown even beyond the original end date.

Now, my wedding has been postponed – a bit indefinitely – as we are still unsure of the impact of this pandemic.

Now, I have become more pragmatic as to the effects of the current situation – to my life, to the community around me, to my country and to the world as a whole. This is definitely historically and life changing.

And I can imagine how hard it must be to be in power these days. As we are plunged to great uncertainties, making decisions we don’t really know will be true in a month – or even a week’s time – I can only imagine how tough it must be for the people in government to also make plans and decisions.

Will they choose to extend the lockdown seeing as there is no immediate solution to the pandemic? It’s still ballooning. But if they continue on this path, the number of hungry Filipinos will increase and economy will keep on suffering to a point where it will be very hard to bounce back. Finding the balance between saving the economy and saving lives is tough. In each side, there are bound to be casualties.

I tried to look at the history of pandemics to see how we fare with time. As they say, history repeats itself – it is up to us to learn from it. The worst pandemic in history is the 1918 Spanish flu. About a hundred years from today. Around 500 million worldwide died.

There were other pandemics over the course of the hundred years – the most recent being the H1N1 swine flu of 2009. I thought back to my life then. Where was I? What was happening to me? Was I aware there was a pandemic? I heard about it in the news. But did I feel it? My life seemed to move on as normal. It was the year I graduated from school and the year I landed my first job. All seemed normal.

Yet today, I doubt there is a single Filipino who isn’t aware what is happening. Not just because they watch it in the news but feel it in their daily lives. The curfew hours. The restricted movements. The long days. Everyone has been forced to lead a new norm.

I believe that this too shall pass. I believe that, as always, we will bounce back. After all, God who remains in control will not allow harm to come to us. The virus may strike and death may stare us in the face – but His promises remain true forever. At the same time I believe that in the aftermath He will be with us. He will remain steadfast in His promises for guidance and provision. This I believe – not naively – but with practical faith.

And so as I spend my days doing the things I once didn’t have the time to do, I find myself strangely at peace – the peace that only Jesus can bring. The days may be long and the future uncertain, but with God, everything is OK.

Freedom from Sin

Today is Resurrection Sunday. And the meaning of that is we are free from our sins. We are no longer under the curse. But what does it mean to be free from sin?

So you should consider yourselves dead to the power of sin and alive to God through Christ Jesus. —– Sin is no longer your master for you no longer live under the requirements of the law. Instead you live under the freedom of God’s grace.

Romans 6:11, 14

Because of Jesus’ victory over sin, we are no longer slaves to it. We have the power and freedom to live a life of righteousness, no longer succumbing to the traps of sin. We have the ability to say NO to a sinful life and to go on and choose righteous living. When we come to accept Jesus in our lives, and believe in His Resurrection, sin no longer has a hold over us.

I remember, a colleague asked me before, that being a Christian my life must be so boring. Because I can no longer drink or party or “have fun”. He thought my life must be dull and boring because I do not go out and “gimik” like the rest of them. I smiled and told him that I have never been happier and never been free. I can choose to drink and party and “have fun” the way they defined it but I choose not to. My happiness lies in other things. My joy is found in activities that glorify my God. I am free to make my choice but I choose the God-glorifying ones.

Sometimes, it is hard to explain – how we can be really free from sin. But it is something that is so heartfelt that I cannot deny the freedom. I can feel it – the freedom of choice – and the joy of knowing I can always make a righteous choice.

For the wages of sin is death but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 6:23

Sin leads to death. Not the physical one but the spiritual kind. An eternal death that I wouldn’t wish even to the vilest person in our planet. Can you imagine spending your life in perpetuity in darkness? Devoid of light. Devoid of life. Doomed to suffering for all eternity.

Yet God loves us so much He couldn’t bear it for us to go through that – forever separated from Him. So He sent Jesus to die for our sins – taking the punishment we deserve – so He can give us the FREE GIFT of eternal life with Him.

This is the very essence of resurrection. This is the very defining moment of our faith. Our entire faith hinges on this. For we believe, that by sharing in Jesus’ resurrection we will also share eternity with Him. Our destiny is no longer darkness and gloom but light and joy.

Isn’t that wonderful? Isn’t that enough to make your heart sing and anticipate joyful days despite the lockdown?

The Joy of the Resurrection

Today is Resurrection Sunday. The happiest day in my life. For today, more then two thousand years ago, Jesus won the battle over sin. The sin which leads to eternal death; the sin which cripples me with fear; the sin which kills me daily. Jesus, when he died from the cross then rose from the grave has won the battle with sin.

The song above encapsulates how wonderful His sacrifice is and what is means for all of us who believe – and who are called to believe – in Him.

We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin may lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin.

And since we died with Christ, we know we will also live with Him. We are sure of this because Christ was raised from the dead, and He will never die again. Death no longer has any power over him.

Romans 6:6-9

When Jesus died on the cross, he brought our sins with Him. For sin brings death. We will all die in the end – our lives are mortal. But because we are sinners, we will suffer eternal death. Picture it: eternal darkness – a darkness that doesn’t end; suffering and pain left and right. It is enough to make my heart break just picturing it. Jesus suffered that one for us. He became the sacrifice who took away all our sins. He went to hell. He experienced the eternal darkness.

And because He is God, He went back. He rose from the dead. He went back to life. He triumphed over death. He won the battle with eternal death. Why? So we can claim the eternal life He so freely offers those who believe.

It is a profound mystery that baffles me. But a mystery that is so clearly explained over and over in the Bible and so clearly becomes the basis of my faith and the source of my hope. That one day, when I physically die from this earth, I will not experience eternal darkness. But rather experience eternal life with the Savior who loves me so much, He suffered for me.

Who could imagine so great a mercy?
What heart could fathom such boundless grace?
The God of ages stepped down from glory
To wear my sin and bear my shame
The cross has spoken, I am forgiven
The King of kings calls me His own
Beautiful Savior, I’m Yours forever
Jesus Christ, my living hope
Hallelujah, praise the One who set me free
Hallelujah, death has lost its grip on me
You have broken every chain
There’s salvation in Your name
Jesus Christ, my living hope…
Living Hope
Phil Wickham

 

 

Lessons Learned From Downton Abbey

This lockdown has afforded me the time to catch up (and re-watch) one of my favorite TV shows from way way back – Downton Abbey.

If you are a Downton Abbey fan, why not read along while listening to the official soundtrack. I wrote this post while listening to the OST. After all they got such a really great musical score. 

Warning: Spoilers Ahead. 

The British TV Drama series first caught my attention when it premiered in 2010. Up until Season 3, I watched the show religiously. But the death of Matthew Crawley in Season 3 ended caught me off-guard and having developed a “crush” on the actor, I couldn’t bear to watch the series with him gone.

So I stopped it and said good bye and went on to watch other series rising in popularity that time (hello, Game of Thrones).

Yet I was surprised to find out, years later, that the series went on for 6 seasons (so I hadn’t watched the last 3 seasons) and even had a feature film released in 2019. And so, with the loads of time I had in my hands, I went on and dived with much gusto right though the series – beginning from Season 1 all the way to the feature-length film.

And lo and behold, I discovered and learned more – now that I knew my favorite character – Mr. Matthew Crawley (with his deep blue gorgeous eyes) was going to die in the end. I began to see the historical references, find new characters I grew to like (hello Tom Branson). I began to appreciate the themes of the show and even went on to learn about the production and research that went behind it, not to mention the social impact it has.

While there are many articles in the internet about the historical accuracy (and inaccuracies) of the show, the research behind it and the script’s brilliance (or lack of) and many other criticisms (both good and bad) – my post will dwell on the lessons I have learned watching (and reflecting) on the show.

 

downton-abbey-series-3-poster
The many characters of Downton Abbey (photo ctto)

 

Continue reading “Lessons Learned From Downton Abbey”

Life Priorities

When I was young, I was full of ambition. I have dreamed of climbing the top of the ladder of success which I defined as a prime office space in a high rise building – the head of a multinational company; a powerful top level executive. I worked my life in pursuit of such an ambition and regardless of the curve balls life threw at me, I relentlessly pushed on.

Now, I am about to enter a new chapter of my life. Supposedly on April 22 but another curve ball happened of which I had absolutely no control and so I am staring at a setback. It’s just a setback of dates, thankfully, and not a setback of bigger things (such as a groom!). And yet, this time of setback has allowed me to muse on what is really important in life and how I have changed in my desires.

Growing older – and more mature I hope – I have been privy to the way others led their lives. And I have come to see glimpses of the kind of life I want to lead in the future. Further, I have come to see my life’s trajectory and the possibility (or not) of me  turning into the person I want to be.

Before I had even considered raising my own family (and what that would entail), I have always regarded a professional life as lucrative. I live for the thrill of the board room. I live for the excitement of strategic plans coming into fruition. And as the past decade went by, where I pursued this path, I found myself asking – is this really what life has to offer me?

Yes it was thrilling. But the stress levels were also real. Too often I had to take sabbaticals for my peace of mind. Too often I had to re-align my pursuits and paths searching for the paths of least resistance. As I trudged on this path, I looked around and saw how others were leading theirs. I saw those who pursued the same paths and the sacrifices they made along the way. I saw those who opted out and the outcome of those choices.

And as the years passed, I began to long for a different kind of path. One that put more focus in something maybe not as grand as what I wanted but nonetheless equally (if not more) fulfilling.

I began to long for a family I can call my own.

I used to think raising a family was something easy and natural. Something that is easily accomplished as I pursue my executive ambitions. Some are able to do it – or so it seems. I learned that those who were able to pursue both were able to do so but not with a great expense. Further, I learned that the kind of “family raising” I wanted was one not easily accomplished in tune with my ambitions.

I longed to be the proverbial housewife. I longed to spend days planning meals and  excursions for my family. I longed to guide my kids as they navigate the tricky waters of growing up in a fast changing world. I longed to be hands-on in everything I do for them. I began to see the nobleness of the profession.

As I spend the past days in lock down, I had time to introspect about where my life is leading me. I am on the path to my ambitions. But will it lead me to achieving what my heart is longing for now? Will I be able to really juggle them all? Or am I better off following the path of others who have placed greater weight in one over the other?

Life is full of choices. After all, God gave us free will to make these myriad of choices on how we will lead our lives. It is with faith in Him and with the guidance of the Bible, His Word, that we make the right ones. As I ask Him what path I must chose, I am led to meditate on this verse:

Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing.

Psalm 143:10

Whatever decision I come to, I know for certain that the Holy Spirit will be there to guide me. Whatever path I choose, I know that God’s strength will be there to support me. Whatever choices I need to make, I know God’s wisdom will be there to help me make the right ones.

And with this assurance, I move forward. For in life, however we choose to lead it, we always move forward – filled with confidence.

back to blogging?

We have been in lockdown for 28 days now. Our business operations have halted and suddenly I found myself with too much time in my hands. Whereas before, I have longed for more time to spend with myself, now, spending the lockdown isolated from my family, I suddenly have all the time in the world.

And with the lockdown extended for 2 more weeks, the end is far from over.

Which is why I went back to documenting my thoughts. A hobby I have acquired way back before blogs were even popular. A hobby that has spanned close to a decade before I halted it as life’s more important concerns swallowed me. But now, time has been given – generously to be exact – from which I can once again explore my thoughts and document it. And perhaps, after a decade, go back and see how I have matured in the process.

words

It’s been quite a while since I’ve blogged about anything. I have moved on from documenting bits and pieces of my life; from airing out rants and observations about society and politics; and from posting ghastly stuff I wish to recall no longer about lost loves.

I haven’t stopped. Just became really busy with life. Engrossed with blogging for a profit – trying to make sense where this blog should head on to. I have tried to dance to the tune of other bloggers – thinking if I should write for an audience and get hits and get traffic and get paid. I have dabbled with the thought of just shutting down this blog completely – aghast at what my measly followers would say if they ever unearth the posts of times past.

But alas! The blog remains. Ten years or so? I lost count for I’m afraid I stopped the annual new year posts already? Or it’s just been so long since I’ve written a piece.

But doing a testimonial for a friend recently has unearthed all those verbose vocabularies hidden within me. And without any other outlet these days for unrestricted writing glories using whatever tone of voice I could muster — I have found my long lost love for this blog. After all, I meant for it to contain my thoughts – how I speak – uncensored from all the SEO rules imposed to us by Google so our measly piece of the Internet could be found by whoever wants to find it.

But screw the search engines! This blog was, after all, meant to be private pubic if such a thing ever existed. It isn’t meant to be found by search engines for its meticulously followed SEO rules. But it’s meant to be out there for whoever can relate to such a barrage of words and flow of thoughts.

So will this be the start of regular blog posts? I daresay I do not know. Only my time will tell. If I want to find a release of words then at least I know where to go to.