roller coaster ride

funny how work could really interfere with quality family time. funny how i sacrificed a lot to be near my family, yet still be near them then begin to be quite far. today my family went to cwc without me. they simply dropped me off work and proceeded to the place. not that i am really complaining. i knew my responsibilities. yet i also felt some sort of sadness at the missed moment.

funny how life could be such a roller coaster sometime. yesterday i was crying over a failed audit, today i received a commendation from a customer. and i just educated her about her mcafee. it was unexpected, of course, as most commendations are. and also it was a nice lift from a downtime feeling. but then, since i knew that commendations are really nothing more than morale boosters, and since i am such a competitive freak, i know that deep down what would boost my morale are metrics that would make me top agent and earn me promotions and appliance rewards. i know that i am not after high metrics for recognition. i am after high metrics for higher salary pay. talk about being mukhang pera.

this shift has also been a really tiring one for me. i felt like I’ve handled a thousand calls when in fact I’ve only answered 27 calls. but still, it is more than the usual. it just seems that most Americans are now finding it real cute to call technical support. well good for us because that entails more jobs.

whew. tiredness creeps in. sleep beckons.

i got his number. but the infatuation has really passed. he is just a friend to me now. a very convenient friend to have in this crazy industry.

failing an audit

Frustrations setting in. headache pending. Tears threatening to spill. All because of one audit.

I hate this. I hate that I am this affected by one silly failed audit. Back when I was studying, it was OK to fail. I could deal with it. I’ve failed perhaps a hundred times and I’ve survived. I’ve been to the worst possible failure scenarios and I’m still alive. But I guess when you’re working, failing does not seem like an option – not if you have a goal with a deadline. Not if your goal is connected to your survival – literal survival.

I have always been competitive but it is a competition that I set against myself. Human nature would inevitably dictate me to compare myself to others but common sense would prevail and would compel me to simply put myself up against myself. I am my own worst enemy and my toughest competitor.

Sigh. This really gets frustrating that I don’t even know where to begin expressing myself. Before actually placing these emotions and thoughts into writing, I must have had composed a dozen articles about the issue already. And this article is already a new one being composed real time.

The experience made me re-evaluate my goals and even the reason for my existence – what on earth am I here for? Which further emphasized my spiritual dryness – an inevitable thing I know I would need to face one of these days. The experience made me mad at a customer even though the call has long been over – who was she to say she wanted to talk to somebody else who could understand her? F*** she was really speaking fast! And much as I tried to ask her to please repeat she would be so impatient! Thinking back I would have loved to be a smart-ass and tell her, “oh sure go ahead and talk to somebody else. Hang-up now and call back, that would greatly save my AHT!”

*sigh* too much pent up emotions, I could see that now. What has this industry done to me? Is it now eating me alive? I am so bent up trying to perform well. No body sees this but me. No body knows this but me. And who is suffering but me. Why can’t I ever relax? I try to appear calm and nonchalant about everything but deep down I know I worry too much. I compete too much. I pressure myself too much. I’ve always been this wreck. College has removed that I know. Failing so many times in a course I knew wasn’t right for me but which I stubbornly stuck too did that to me.

I couldn’t show my face to my QA today. I was so ashamed of myself for failing. She must have thought I was pissed off at her. Little did she knew I was pissed off at myself.

I do my best in each call. Believe me I do. I’ve even went so far as to start recording in my planner my daily AHT. To be more proactive in watching my AHT status. Now I know I would have to watch my call flow, my adherence to QA advisories. And of course not to mention the all so important OARE/ORE, simply put CSAT or customer satisfaction.

I hope to get out of this loop in 6 months. But for now I must find the courage to enjoy this. To love it. To embrace it. I must find something worthy in it.

And I must learn to chill down.

after shift

my shift has ended and since i am too scared to go home this early, i’ve opted to stay behind, sacrifice some sleep, and face the sun.

i have managed to move my blogs from multiply to this site which is not so easily accessed yet also is uncensored. a site that would allow me to write freely about what i feel without fear that someone would be affected by it. of course it is still public but then as my friend said, my self-disclosure is so high.

what am i rambling about? i really do not feel writing now. i feel like reading. and i know what it is that i would like to read.

they say it is good to have someone who will inspire you to go to work. someone to look forward too. someone too keep you going. and i know i owe him a lot for the time he spends with me. if he only knew.

but then i also know deep down within myself that friends are all we’ll ever be. i’ve tried to run scenarios in my mind wherein we can transcend to more than just friends and i know that that would not be possible – at this point, that is. and maybe in the future. it would not be possible because my system wouldn’t completely accept the thought of us. there could be no us. just him and me. friends. workmates.

oh well. i better get reading. i sure do miss him.

the perfect workday

how i wish every workday is just like today. or should i say tonight since i am on night shift. hehe.

i just passed certifications – that’s when someone grades your calls – and right now i am being paid to do nothing. literally. i am just here, wasting SGS electricity and bandwidth as well as my time. sigh. i should be at home. asleep.

but then it’s cool once i think of how much each hour costs. plus the night differential.

sometimes i’m still surprised that i am actually on this job. something i never thought i’d do. something that is so far from what i have labored years in college for. but here i am.

doing nothing.

as if this could go on forever. next week, tomorrow maybe, the real work world begins. the real taking in of calls.

it’s kind of funny because most customers are really inept when it comes to computers. sometimes i wonder why they even bother with the thing. but then again i just think that without them i would have no job and as such i am able to pull out from the depths of my soul immeasurable patience in dealing with them. imagine having to navigate oldies through the computer. “please click on the start button, the one that looks like a sphere or a globe and located on the lower left corner of your screen” did you get it? hehe.

oh well. the job pays. the job is promising (yeh promotion!) and i am here.

and my certification yesterday really went well. as in absolutely well.

i am happy. absolutely.

and now, i get to tambay and be paid for it.

hope this lasts forever – every working day.

wishful thinking.

On Jobs and Careers – An Update about me

Whenever I see signs that say “Start your call center career with us”, I smirk and wonder about the truth of such words. That was before. Now, I am of a different opinion. Why? Because I became part of the world I never thought I would be part of and I came to know all about this industry.

I used to know this industry as the call center industry, but now that I’m part of it, the more accurate term is BPO or Business Process Outsourcing Industry. I have come to realized that in this time of economic crisis, it is one of the most stable and fastest growing industry. More and more companies are outsourcing their customer services in order to focus more on their products and services and thus increase their profit margins. Thus the boom of BPO companies. And contrary to my former opinion, a career is indeed possible in such an industry for one cannot remain an agent for long. One must not remain an agent for long. Especially since there are a lot of promotion possibilities present.

Yet the downsides are indeed true. There’s the graveyard shift and the heavily smoking culture. But looking pass these, the opportunities are countless.

Enough for the introduction. The purpose of this blog is to update everyone who’s wondering where I am now.

I am a Technical Support Representative for McAfee under a BPO company – Sutherland Global Services and am now based in Camarines Sur. Technical support is quite a challenge and is very different from some of the usual forms of customer service. My responsibility is basically to provide troubleshooting steps to customers with regard to their McAfee softwares. And troubleshooting is mostly a free-flowing thing. It is not something that can be contained in a script. So basic skills necessary are the ability to probe, to listen carefully and to issue correct resolutions.

And since this is a technical account, I was trained on technical stuff. Imagine me, a Biology major, pursuing a technical job. Complete opposites right? But I managed. And now I am thinking of actually pursuing this job to become a Technical Foundation trainer. That means more studies in my part when it comes to techie stuff for after all technology is constantly evolving.

I never imagined in my life that I would go back to my province and pursue a career here. But here I am. I’m actually glad that Cam. Sur has a booming economy and as thus there are a lot of career opportunities here. What I like most about working in the province is the complete difference of the experience from working in Manila. There is no rush hour or heavy traffic or pollution. We have shuttle services to and from the city. Our site is located beside rice fields and we are constantly treated to fresh air and bird calls whenever we go out of the building.

The sight is also something. Imagine passing by rice fields on the way to work. Or seeing the majestic Mount Isarog whenever one goes outside the building. It is really a far cry from the sights I am used to in Manila.

And of course, here in the province, the lifestyle is much much simpler. Stores are closed by 8pm and by 10pm restaurants are closing. Well with the exception of a certain party strip where night people can have time to party. For the past few weeks I caught the 6am shuttle to work (my shift was 7am-3pm) and imagine the early morning scene of the city. It is already 6am but still the number of vehicles are quite few. In Philcoa, 6am is a pretty busy time for traffic. But here, the roads are almost clear.

Everyday, I am constantly surprised by the changes in the scenery of my life now. Everything is really very different.

Well I guess this is life. You never know what’s in store for you. You just have to believe that there is a perfect and wonderful plan for you.

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