This is a new year post. This is a personal post. And like any new year personal post, it is a reflection of the past year and an anticipation of the year to come. So I lay to rest for a while my political posts, my intellectual posts and all other posts I claim to be impersonal but are really more personal than I care to admit.
Hopefully, as I have tried again and again, a blog dated with the first day of the year would be a positive sign of regular blog posts to come though we are wise enough to know that superstitions are mere kid’s fantasies and everything all boils down to action and determination.
So quite a lot has happened in 2012. We moved to a new house, not yet our own but I do admit I love the bigger space. A major death hit the family a year after another major death but this has been pivotal for it brought together lost souls and hopefully mended broken hearts. Revelations were made – for the good or the bad only time will tell. Promotions were given though hardly completed. I guess 2012 did had a lot in store of it.
Yet overall, I felt it was a very passive year for me. Passive because most of what happened were things really beyond my control. The things that were indeed within my sphere of influence were mediocre at their best. I started school but not with my first choice. My work performance has been riveting but not grandiose in my evaluation. Overall, I think 2012 was so-so.
So how do I want 2013 to be? Chinese astrology predicts that for me this year would just be a repeat of 2012. Heaven forbid! I hope it is not! But since I’ve always believed in crafting one’s own destiny, I approach 2013 with a more positive outlook.
Top of the list will be to get a move on with Him. I know I need Him back. I need that moving and passionate relationship with Him so I am determined to really make this happen this year. Of course, it is only by His Grace that things will do move but it takes two to tango. A close second is to get a grip of my financial life. For a year, I’ve read and learned as much as I can, I think it is time to put it to use. The third one is closely related to the second. Do what it takes to get a grip of my finances and future earth investment. First goal is to take care of my eternal investment and second goal tied to third is to get a grip of my earthly investment.
Essentially, these are my two major goals. All the rest stems and flows from them, I dare not make the list too long lest I loose focus and, scarily, procrastinate,
But seeing as it is the first day of the year, let me savor the day and backtrack a little.
The holidays has been quite a treat for us. For one, daddy is here to physically celebrate it with us after not being able to do so for several years now. Who knows if next Christmas he’ll be with us again. I certainly hope so but doubt it highly likely. Second, I’ve never seen us produce so much food for one occasion. Indeed, it has been such a long time since so much food has been laid on the table. It’s enough to last us a week! Indeed, we are so blessed and I feel that everyday, and with every bite.
The new year has also been different for me this year because there was less pomp – social wise. Despite the impressive fireworks display left and right in the neighborhood we reside in – something I’ve never witnessed in my past community – there remains in me the feeling that 2012 has seen me somewhat estranged from my once numerous social circles. Oh I have a thousand facebook friends but I have already experienced that despite the robust social technology, I am more alienated than ever. Probably it’s my fault. I suck at communicating especially long distance but this hasn’t been the way I envisioned my social life to be. Wherever the fault is or whatever happened, the fact remains – I have drifted. Far and wide. So why is this not part of my 2013 goals? Frankly, I feel empty that I feel I have nothing much left to share. And so, I need to fulfill goal 1 to be full once again to the brim and to overflowing.
So there, this has been my 2013 post. A first, I daresay, in my almost 10 years of blogging on and off. Whatever 2013 has in store for me, I vow to make things happen and not to sit around idly looking as life passes me by leaving fate to do things for me.
Happy new year to those who’ve read this far. Thank you for even reading.
Post Script:
So this has a post script because, while reading Facebook posts by friends listing the major and minor things that made their 2012 great, I realized I had much to be grateful for as well. But since I am slightly averse to baring my soul in Facebook (weird considering those are my “friends” vs the public who reads my blog), I will write my list here.
I am grateful for my singleness. And the new focus I have which is work and studies. Somehow it has shown me how strong I can be and how much more I have to live and discover.
I am grateful for my random, unexpected meetings with friends. Though not really the people I’ve been close with from my elementary, high school and college days, these people has shown me how precious friendships are and how, in the greater scheme of things, acquaintances in the past can prove to be crucial and close friendships in the future. (Or perhaps in the ever expanding world of social networks and the shrinking world of physical connections, you take whatever physical friendships you can get.)
I am grateful for the new places I’ve been, the new culinary delights I’ve experienced, the representations I made and the new people I met – famous and otherwise.
I am grateful for the new gadgets I owned and the convenience they’ve brought me.
Vague I know but I can never be too specific. Overall, though I have much to yearn for and want for 2013 to happen, I am still grateful for the year that passed. It taught me a lot and made me experience so much – little and otherwise.
And since the new year is a time to reflect and to plan, then so be it. The past teaches us lessons that we need to live in the present and to move forward to the future.
